Broken and Blessed

I've known this Sunday was coming for a while... It's been weeks since Grant first talked to our Stake President. I've spent that time trying to convince myself that today wouldn't hurt. I prayed I would keep my composure, that by some miracle my heart wouldn't betray me....

I made it through Superman and I meeting with the Stake Presidency. I made it through the opening hymn as long as I didn't look at my Superman sitting on the stand this last time. I found the courage to look up just as they announced Superman's release from the bishopric. Tears rolled down both our faces....

Grant stood moments later to bear his testimony and in that moment my heart betrayed me. I was sobbing. Grant has wanted nothing more in this last year and a half than to simply serve with a bishop he loves. Time and time again a cruel illness making that simple desire, impossible. Why??????

I listened as my sweet husband bore a valiant, humble testimony of our Heavenly Father's love and the truthfulness of the gospel and I simply sobbed. His spirit and his countenance shining as he stood at that pulpit, his perfect faith undeniable. His illness has robbed him of so many things, but never his testimony.  Tears of sorrow mixed with gratitude.  Seriously heart. Get. It. Together.

I look down at my phone as an email scrolls across my lock screen. The sister sending it a few pews behind me.

For you, Robin....

Elder Jeffrey R. Holland (quoting Vance Havner):

Christ loves broken things

It takes broken clouds to make rain

It takes broken ground to make grain 

It takes broken grain to make bread

It takes broken bread to always remember Him 

It takes broken hearts to come unto Christ.

Thanks my friend. There are blessings in our broken lives.

It took every once of strength and courage to make it through the rest of my responsibilities for  Sunday, tears only a moment away....Grateful for the many added friends attending our ward conference today. Heavenly Father knew just who we would need to make it through today. I will be forever grateful for his tender mercies that show me that even though we don't know why this needed to happen we know we are not alone in this.

Tonight we are still a little broken and wonder why, but know we are so blessed.

Oh Dallyn?!

Dallyn told me "go ahead blog about it", he's calling my bluff or he wants it recorded in the books of family history to teach his future children, either way I'm counting this permission to share....


I've been parenting for exactly  8,502 days according to google and here's the thing, I still have no idea what I am doing. No seriously, no idea....

Every time I think I've got this gig in the bag, one of them throws me a curve ball and y'all know I'm not super sports-y.

Dallyn got suspended last week. Yes you read that right, suspended.

"Skipping Law Class whilst [breaking a law]"  No, no the irony is not lost on us either.

Grant and I had 20 mins before our brilliant scholar walked in the front door to decide how to handle this.

After 10 minutes of awkward silence.....

"You better not YELL, Robin." Grant said.

"You better not yell, GRRRRANT" I snapped.

Yup we totally have this parenting gig in the bag.

We watched Dallyn take the slow walk of shame from the car to our front door...head hung low.

Sit. Explain.

There were tears and excuses and anger and talk of unfairness and harshness. But by all estimations,except maybe Dallyn's. He deserved the consequences.

We both explained that this was a great lesson that when we choose a behavior we do not get to choose the consequence and then talked of his consequences at home....

"Can't you phone the school Mom, someone else's mom did ?!?!"

"And tell them what??? How dare you hold my kid accountable???"

Yeah that's a solid NO.

Seventeen is hard. Parenting is hard. But no one yelled.

That evening after hours of yard work I asked Dallyn what he wanted for dinner....

"Do PRISONERS get to pick their food????" {not quite the humility I was hoping for, but an A for comedic timing}

Time served. Consequences in progress. Oh Dallyn, I love you.




If you ever need tips on what one wears to meet with the principal, bright and early on a Monday morning , I'm your girl.