Quiet Answers

I need to record this, so I don't forget it.

It's been really tough again....

Mental illness is neither a forgiving nor patient creature.

The struggle continues....

Sitting in sacrament meeting with my Super hero...a victory.

Hearts full of questions...

Singing the sacrament hymn "As Now We Take The Sacrament..."

"And silently we pray,
For courage to accept thy will,
To listen and obey..."

A quiet answer...

I looked at Grant and we both knew it.

Courage to accept and continue.....
And then a flood of blessings we have received from listening and then following commandments and promptings came to my mind...

We continue to have our needs met and we are blessed.

My heart is grateful for quiet answers.

Family Day, Eh?

It's Family Day...and how do the Kramers spend such a glorious holiday???

Alex goes babysitting, I shovel all the snow and everybody else...

Sleeps until the crack of...

NOON.

All are up and they spend the next hour cleaning and fighting, fighting and cleaning...

How do I solve the problem???

 SEND the kids to the LEGO movie, while Superman and I watch a movie at home...

Three hours with out mayhem...

That's parenting genius right there?!

 

While watching a movie, I also finished my third baby blanket this week.

 (I would never sew to avoid my family, good moms don't do that?)

 

A Happy quiet Family Day. Yay, me!

Positives

In an effort to find gratitude in all things...here's a list of things I'm grateful for this week...

1. Nobody died, got arrested or needed to go to the emergency room. (way to go Kramers)

2. Doctors who are honest AND funny.

3. The ability to pay our bills, put food on the table and have a warm place to live.

4. A twin sister, who never tells me how to parent, what I should do or to stop saying curse words.

5. SUNSHINE!!!!! and cold (reminding me why we don't live on the prairies any more).

6. For all the problems we DON'T have.

7. That feeding my kids fast food all week is NOT a crime.

8. I am still smiling :)

Selling Shrek

Madison:  Hey what ever happened to that old Shrek cup from McDonald's??? (subtle attempt to throw a sister under the bus)

Alex: I gave it to (unnamed friend)...

Me: Why???

Alex: Ummm...she really liked it?!?!

Madison: Alex, Don't lie you sold it to her for $10 bucks...

Alex: MADISON !!!!????

Me: Well did you???

Alex: ummmm yeah....

Me: (ranting)What are we Ebay??? Where's my cut??? You can't just sell our crap!?!? ALEX!!!!!

(((shaking my head)))

New rule: Nothing may be SOLD from Casa de Kramer.

I guess we will never become hoarders as long as Alex is around.

Favourite Daughter?

"Mom, look I painted your favorite daughter!!!!!"

Alex wants this hung...in our room...over our bed. 

Ummm...no. 

Nice job though. 

Now where to put it?? I'm running out of walls...

D$#@ You, Groundhog Day!!!!

I had a feeling I should have just stayed in bed this morning, safely ignoring the world. 

But I'm a good mediocre Mormon and Church is what we do on Sundays. After all it was a Ward fast for all those who are sick and afflicted and since, depending on which books you read, we have one of those. I felt I needed to go...

Dragging myself out of bed, I didn't bother waking Superman, he had had a rough night and I couldn't bring my self to disturb his, well fought for sleep...

I roust the rug rats and race for the shower (it's. Mine. First.)...my hair still dripping...I re-wake the rats...and fight my tights...all while ignoring the chorus of "do we have toos"

I stop at the computer desk just long enough to find the check book and check my email...

I'm two words in to the only message and I'm fighting back tears... The words hurt. I swing between anger and sorrow. Mostly sorrow...one more off my team.

I sit in Church, it isn't until I'm handed the bulletin that I see the date February 2nd...

Oh _____ it's Groundhog Day. And I suddenly want to run to the safety of my warm covers and just pretend this day never even started.

Groundhog Day, was my Dad's day...the holiday my sister and I had christened just for him and not because the rodent...no, it's the Movie...

Remember Bill Murray and the same Feb 2nd on repeat over and over...that was what my Dad's last decade was like...the same questions on repeat, over and over as he struggled to just remember...

On the worst days Kelli or I would say..."It must be Groundhog Day..." 

Today I suddenly missed his endless phone calls and same three questions and his I love you too's. Today I miss my Dad.

I tried desperately to feel the comfort of the building I was sitting in...but couldn't shake the sad...

Coming home meant facing Supermans struggle, not my sad. Sigh.

Sometimes Sundays suck and sometimes Sundays are awesome. This Sunday could be a vacuum cleaner if it wanted too.

Snake Oil

You know what it's like when you have your first bundle of joy and everybody can't wait to share their two cents on everything from breast feeding to cloth diapers to crying it out???

And you're that brand new mom left feeling bombarded, overwhelmed and judged incapable???

Oh...Yeah....that feeling?!

I hate that feeling.

It's the same feeling you get when everybody knows your family struggles with Mental Heath issues and for some reason thinks that knowledge has opened the flood gates for their unsolicited advice...

Oh...yeah...I hate that feeling!

Just like a new mom needs the time, space and latitude to just figure out what works for her...

That's what we need. 

It's happened many times recently...I open yet another email, with yet another alternative treatment offered, usually requiring me to spend big $$$$ and asking me to do something...

I know it's well intentioned and not meant to offend.

And I just don't respond, anymore...

But honestly I think "why can't you JUST be my/our friend??"

Our choice to deal with bipolar through conventional medicine and therapies is an educated one.(specific to our family)

Don't tell me what to do. Ask me what I need.