My Teenagers Are....

I really wanted to title this post My Teenagers are Jerks, but all the literature on the subject, suggests that might harm my hooligans precious psyche ....

I have to admit I am finding parenting older teenagers, so far out of my comfort zone, I want to cry (which I do often) I have zero idea what I am doing, and I am pretty sure they know it...Just a few of the questions that have crossed my lips in the last week....

Alright which one of you pyros was lighting tp on fire in the down stairs bathroom sink?

Kay, which one of you hockey stick wheedling maniacs took out my tulips in the back yard?

Which one of you eternal shower takers, left the obstacle course in the bathroom, causing your matriarch to trip on clothes, hip check the drawer and pee her pants in a move worthy of swan lake?

Which one of you kleptos, keep stealing all of my Dr Pepper and dunkaroos (don't judge me),what's the matter with Superman's Coke zero?

Which  one of you delinquents skipped chemistry and pre-calculus, tried to pay off younger sibling, but forgot to hack in to my email and delete the auto-fire email from SD 71?

Why is there root beer ( I'm just guessing) all over the kitchen ceiling?

Why am I the only one who turns on the dishwasher, off the 37 light switches, and can actually smells the pile of dog poop in the laundry room?

Oh teenagers!!! I love you, no really I do :)

It feels so odd to have 5 teenagers, two of which are considered  adults (I use that term loosely) and not even be in our forties yet. Most of our friends still have babies and young children and I feel out of place, even a loner, more often than I really admit. I seem to be the old (not-so wise) one, on young end...but the young inexperienced one the older end.

I am in a parenting no mans land of sorts, as a young parent with old kids....I miss the days of little kids and "little" worries. Who knew they would grow up faster than me.