School Shopping Shenanigans

I'm slightly crazy crazier today....

It started all well and good ,  a family back to school shopping trip to Nanaimo. Simple right?.....

 And then the rugrats got in the van. "Why-do-we-have-to-go-shopping...I don't need clothes!" Says our captain of whine (its the song of his people), in his holey t-shirt and ripped jeans....Why can't I stay home?!...Shopping with the girls sucks!!!....

We stop down the street at McDonalds for breakie (don't judge me) and the whine captain continues, this time he's near convulsions (eyes rolling in the back of his head), and then the shenanigan sisters chime in..."Does he have to come????""He's soooo like annoying ??"

Five minutes later, the man child gleefully saunters up the driveway...we drove back home and left him there. Yes he melted his brain for hours on video games, no he didn't clean the kitchen, yes he was absent for family fun day and yes I still think I it was a win - win for all of us.

We are 7 minutes up the highway when "Can I plug in my ipod...this is old people music???" Fine but if there is one swear/inappropriate lyric, no shoppy for you...."YES MOM!?" comes the most respectful chorus...third song in, there was some creative editing (siren noises) for a PINK  and (barking noises) for a Lady Gaga. Nice kids, just lovely....

We manage to make it to Nanaimo in the pounding rain...Joy.

The offspring know their parentals a plum exhausted (been a wonderful few days ;)) and take full advantage of our whatever, it better be modest approach to it this year's clothing expedition. I think they broke the dollars per minute record in Old Navy....but in just over one hour we were done with one mall and on to the next....With a stop at Montanas in between, so they didn't have to continue  fighting over the, I'm not sure how old Timbits in the van....

Now my kids have properly behaved in restaurants for years ;)...but now I instantly realize we have failed, like seriously failed....

Maddie kept winking at the waitresses....I don't know...just to freak them out.....

Alex is pouring salt in whoever's water that isn't looking.....

and then I have to actually audibly say "no more drawing penises on the table!?! What?? They're palm trees, Mom?!? as inappropriate artist quickly adds leaves....Nice.

and then the icing on the cake..."but I wanted a red one!!!" the oldest one contests, when the waitress brings us the bill and the suckers...and the waitress actually goes and retrieves a red one, not realising my delightful child was kidding....sigh

A stop at Urban Planet, pretty sure they only have sizes to fit cabbage patch kids and action figures, and Tarjay and we escaped Nanaimo in a little less than 4 hours...yay!

After a nap and a few Dr Peppers...I think I've almost recovered. Light at the end of the tunnel... in 83 hours they go back to school!

Explaining Hope

Dreadful...heartbreaking...devastating...hopeless....nightmare...

{Well when you put it that way?!?!}

You see, I sat in a fluorescent lit room yesterday, trying not to notice the clutter and disorganization, talking to someone I have known, going on a decade now, wishing we could talk about anything but what we had to talk about...

Dreadful...heartbreaking...devastating...hopeless....nightmare...

Those words were that someone's, definitely not mine...but that person used them to describe my/ our family's challenges....

Those words were intended to show sympathy, and probably pity, but I felt neither.

I instantly found myself, explaining, if not defending myself, my hope....don't take my hope away, you don't have that power....I told myself.

"But there is ALWAYS hope" I finally said with more forcefulness than even I expected. My {room mate} looked rather perplexed.

Yes our lives are hard, much harder than I ever expected, but whose isn't? It's not easy, it was never supposed to be. There is more worry and uncertainty than I like and there are moments my heart breaks and I feel overwhelmed...But I will not live there.

For the next hour I explained my  hope, never sure it was quite understood....No I don't know why? (challenges come) But I know my family is loved and watched over and our backs strengthened to bare the load placed upon them...

I left that meeting awkwardly pitying that someone...life must be so difficult without hope....

 

 

Maybe that's why Ether 12:4 (B of M) has always been my favourite....

 



 Wherefore, whoso believeth in God might with surety hope for a better world, yea, even a place at the right hand of God, which hope cometh of faith, maketh an anchor to the souls of men, which would make them sure and steadfast, always abounding in good works, being led to glorify God.

Going There Today....

I never understood the love my father had for my mother...Until after my mother's passing and I watch my Dad mourn her death.

 His love for her (and I will assume her love for him) was difficult to see by the time Kelli and I were old enough to understand what love was....Addiction, mental illness and choices by both had eclipsed their love and buried it under years of argument and anger.

As a young teenager until I was a young mother myself, I thought they despised each other.

Then Mom died...

Dad was devastated. They had been apart for twenty years and his reaction surprised me, but for the first time I began to understand that they had shared a deep love for each other. Dad had deep regret that things hadn't been different for them. He expressed that regret often. "You know, I loved your Mother." he would say with considerable emotion....time had healed much and most hurts had been forgotten, I guess.

As Dad's dementia took hold, his love for Lynne was never forgotten...As I watched his life end I came to understand that for my parents, what was not possible in this life could be possible in heaven. Where they would finally be free from addiction, illness and pain and their love could be unrestrained.

Today Grant and I went to the temple and did Mom and Dad's work, allowing them, if they choose the blessings of a forever family.

I am grateful the blessings of the temple and the peace and clarity and hope and renewed courage I felt there today.

{I realised today that next Saturday would have been Mom and Dad's 50th wedding anniversary....}

Hey Cuz!

 

We spent just three days at my Sister's in Utah (my sister is much more righteous than I)....

Who would have thunk...between Kelli and I we'd have EIGTH kids. We quadrupled the efforts of our parents...so does that mean we get extra points????

You would never know that this is only the second time this bunch has been together....

 Cousins no matter their age and distance, form instant bonds. These guys are no different. I often wonder if my parents marvel at their posterity and it pulls slightly at my heart strings when I think that they were unable to enjoy them more in this life. Each of them carries something of them...Mya looks much like our mother...Bailey like my Dad...Zach carries dad's name...Dallyn has the Merrill wit...Alex their musical ability...Maddie dad's love of people...Ava carries Mom's name (as does Holly)...I am sure they must be proud as they watch over them.

 Funny, Happy and slightly crazy, yup they have to be Merrills.

 Maddie is my third, Ava, Kelli's third, and they absolutely adore each other.

 Mya and Zach, (of course they get along like this all the time, right Kelli? ;) ) Zach is such a tender hearted guy and great big brother. I love his smile here.

My kids finally are able to say their good byes to Grandpa.

 

So great to get together, even if its short. I have the best sister in the world. She is one of my greatest blessings. I am convinced we would not have survived without each other.

A Great Grandma

Clint and Grandma

Superman has the sweetest,  most genuine Grandmother. She is the mother of 11 and Grandmother, Great Grandmother to, well we stopped counting a long time ago. We had just a day or so with her on our travels, but it was lovely to see her again. Such a wonderful woman.

the rug rats and a great grandma

California Closure

I'm surprised I found the courage and actually wanted to go back...It hasn't even been a year since we cleaned out my Dad's house in Yorba Linda...But since that California trip last Fall was far from a vacation, we decided to go back and try it again as real Canadian tourists...

I was really good until we saw the Yorba Linda Blvd exit sign on the freeway. I had forgotten that we would drive right by my old stomping grounds on our way to the happiest place on earth...Childhood memories came flooding back and I could not control my tears...Greif is such a wacky thing. By the time we reached the hotel I was a mess and I Superman didn't know what to do with me...

'Mom, you are such an ugly crier'....oh how I love my blunt honest teenagers.

It didn't take long... the need to unload the packed to the rafters mini van and figure out the closest place to feed our really tall toddlers, before they sacrificed Dallyn...made me forget the grief of that moment....

As we settled in I was surprised at the flood of memories being in So Cal brought...things long tucked away,  brought to the surface...

Not all sad things either...Dad working at Disneyland during the Summers...Mom's love of shopping and eating out and California's constant motion...Being there made me miss them.

Winchell's Donuts, Del Taco, Carl's Jr, Albertson's, Vons, Marie Calendars, MiMi's café (I was like a kid in a candy store, pointing out all my favourites and what I would get there, to my far from appreciative teens).... The supermarkets and restaurants of my childhood. It was surreal to be back...'Mom how come all your childhood memories involve food?' Wait? What?

I had never noticed that before, but its kinda true, most of my happy memories of California involve food and being out in public  (I'm sure a shrink could have a field day with that ;)) Home life there, was often an uncertain and scary place, public was predictable and safe and happy...hmmm go figure.

Over the week we visited many of those happy places, (culinary and carnival) and you know what...they didn't bring near  the enjoyment I was expecting...(I can't believe I survived on mostly junk food as a child...)The donuts were stale, the greasy fast food made me miss a good home cooked meal...

Disney was fun and happy and tiring...The Zoo was nothing like I remembered (I think I have become an animal lover you doesn't like to see animals in cages)...and Universal Studios' Jaws was the only thing still there from 25 years ago...

I quickly realised something...

It was a really good that that food and those places, didn't hold the same enjoyment as my childhood...It meant I have moved farther forward than I thought...

My life since that crazy California childhood has brought happier, better, more beautiful things...Those donuts don't taste as good because I have had better since. Happiness is not in a place, but a feeling of the heart and something you take with you, I understand that now.

It was a good thing to go back and make new memories. A California closure of sorts...not deny my childhood... but a blessing of perspective to give me a deeper appreciation for the HAPPY things now. My life is a blessed one.

Trippin'

We just spent 3 weeks on a family road trip...

Family Road Trip: (noun/verb) 1. Spend rediculous amount of money to critique your Superman driving (I'm amaxophobic, seriously look it up) , while sharing hotel rooms with your darling four teenagers, resulting in constant refereeing and no alone time (read sex) for us. All for the sake of creating family :)

First in Yahk, BC (reunion- in laws), the in Nephi, Utah (sister) and then a week in Anaheim (park hopping).

We have learned a few things...

Three weeks is a very long time to be together :)
-after three days at the happiest place on earth, there was nearly a Lord of the Flies moment with our darling offspring.

Teenagers are just really tall toddlers when you combine low blood sugar and tired and so are their parents.
-fast food meals and too many churros have a price.

The longer/farther I am away from home the more I realize how blessed we are to live on Vancouver Island.
-we put 6,400 km on the van and saw mountain rainbows, a big sky sunset, dirt devils dance across the desert, vivid red rock, sky scrappers and lighted ribbons of night nighttime traffic, breath taking rugged coastline, the Golden Gate bridge, the redwood forests....

All beautiful things...but our HOME is a beautiful blessing.

Just so happy to be home!