I was really good until we saw the Yorba Linda Blvd exit sign on the freeway. I had forgotten that we would drive right by my old stomping grounds on our way to the happiest place on earth...Childhood memories came flooding back and I could not control my tears...Greif is such a wacky thing. By the time we reached the hotel I was a mess and I Superman didn't know what to do with me...
'Mom, you are such an ugly crier'....oh how I love my
It didn't take long... the need to unload the packed to the rafters mini van and figure out the closest place to feed our really tall toddlers, before they sacrificed Dallyn...made me forget the grief of that moment....
As we settled in I was surprised at the flood of memories being in So Cal brought...things long tucked away, brought to the surface...
Not all sad things either...Dad working at Disneyland during the Summers...Mom's love of shopping and eating out and California's constant motion...Being there made me miss them.
Winchell's Donuts, Del Taco, Carl's Jr, Albertson's, Vons, Marie Calendars, MiMi's café (I was like a kid in a candy store, pointing out all my favourites and what I would get there, to my far from appreciative teens).... The supermarkets and restaurants of my childhood. It was surreal to be back...'Mom how come all your childhood memories involve food?' Wait? What?
I had never noticed that before, but its kinda true, most of my happy memories of California involve food and being out in public (I'm sure a shrink could have a field day with that ;)) Home life there, was often an uncertain and scary place, public was predictable and safe and happy...hmmm go figure.
Over the week we visited many of those happy places, (culinary and carnival) and you know what...they didn't bring near the enjoyment I was expecting...(I can't believe I survived on mostly junk food as a child...)The donuts were stale, the greasy fast food made me miss a good home cooked meal...
Disney was fun and happy and tiring...The Zoo was nothing like I remembered (I think I have become an animal lover you doesn't like to see animals in cages)...and Universal Studios' Jaws was the only thing still there from 25 years ago...
I quickly realised something...
It was a really good that that food and those places, didn't hold the same enjoyment as my childhood...It meant I have moved farther forward than I thought...
My life since that crazy California childhood has brought happier, better, more beautiful things...Those donuts don't taste as good because I have had better since. Happiness is not in a place, but a feeling of the heart and something you take with you, I understand that now.
It was a good thing to go back and make new memories. A California closure of sorts...not deny my childhood... but a blessing of perspective to give me a deeper appreciation for the HAPPY things now. My life is a blessed one.
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