Selective Recluse

I avoid the phone and sometimes even the door...Go ahead admit it, you totally know you do it too and in that same breath can I hear an AMEN for call display (helping us avoid people since 1995 :)) I've even told¨my kids to tell someone I'm not here.  I know,  horrible parenting right there. (HERE is your cookie if you've never....)

So why I'm I such a selective recluse, especially recently????

I love people and consider myself a rather out going person...I love getting to know someone and especially understanding their life story...I've even been accused of being able to talk the 'back legs off a donkey' (I'm not sure, either)

So what's wrong with me??? Why am I so rude????

Two things. Expectations. Understanding. Expectations, I just can't handle right now and Understanding....Understanding is something we all need way more often, than we get....

This life is crazy, literally and figuratively and sometimes capital C crazy and sometimes just little c crazy....

And I honestly think if we could see each others real battles, those only Heavenly Father knows the depth of...We would lower those expectations of one another and increase our understanding....

I had an experience recently that caught me completely off guard. The setting and task at hand made it even more confusing...a person's reaction and behavior towards me was down right disrespectful... I walked away in disbelief ....

You see, just twelve hours earlier, Grant and I spent an evening with some of our favourite people in this world. These are come as you are kind of friends...No expectations here, just kind understanding...We laughed and joked and shared, but what we felt most was loved and understood. It was a feeling I wanted to hang on to forever....

Our actions and words (and sometimes even inactions) have so much power... something I was instantly aware of that next morning....

Words used to lift and love or words used to demean and destroy. One promotes understanding. The other imposes judgement and expectations, usually our own. Both have infinite power to change lives.

As our family has faced our Everest the last two years, we have sometimes felt the sting of judgement...'Well you just need too....' or 'Why are you...'

But the words that have had the power to change everything have been the ones full of love and compassion...We love you...we are praying for you...How can we help...

I have watched as insensitive words and actions have pushed my Superhero, deeper into illness and have been heartbroken

I have also humbly watched as compassion and kindness and understanding has pulled him from depths only he full understands, but the miracle is never lost on me....

So rude or not here is the deal....I will always choose UNDERSTANDING. Others expectations will never help us and something I no longer care about.