Unsolicited Advice, Stop it.

Ok I might be a wee bit frustrated here...so consider yourself warned....and please don't call the 1-800 number  and report me ;)


I went to a Sunday School  class today, only slightly against my will. The Sister missionaries needed another female in the room and since I have one of those missionaries out now, I want to support the sweet sisters in our ward.

I sat and even participated...(yay me do I get a sticker now??)

The teacher was well prepared and the class well taught.

The topic was the Word of Wisdom, which always makes me cringe some, just because there seems to be a vast range of interpretation of the text.

I am not a scriptorium and never intend to be such...I'm from the "if it feels right, then I don't care why, I'll just do it" school of thought.

We discussed all the don'ts and then all the dos and all the blessings that come from being obedient to the Word of Wisdom....many personal experiences very specific to diet, were shared and after a few , I felt I had to say something....

That something was, something like the following....

"You know even if we follow the word of wisdom, some of us, through no fault of our own can still suffer from difficult health challenges and sometimes a "word of wisdom miracle doesn't come. And the "if you were just more obedient to the word of wisdom" attitude, intended or not, can hurt. We may go to church together, but that does not mean we fully understand each others trials and decisions in how to cope with those trials. (medical or otherwise) "

I then talked very briefly about Grant's struggles and said "despite all we've done, he still struggles"

*******

After our Sunday siesta Grant walks in the living room, phone in hand....

"What the HELL's this, Robin??" "What did you say in Sunday School???

This, was an email from a ward member, neither of us knows, other than by name....

"After your comments in Sunday School....have you heard of "True Hope"

I stammered trying to explain myself to my angry sweetheart....

******


Just because our struggle is "new news" to you, does not mean it is NEW to us, unless FIFTEEN years is new?....

We've tried it ALL in an effort to fix my super hero.....

Diets, vitamins, CPAP machines, exercise, EVERY psychiatric medication more than once...and yes even True Hope, now called EMpower plus ( the Tupperware approach to mental health)...oh and even the "living the gospel, more fully" approach

And you know what ??? Grant still struggles every day with an illness that refuses to relent for long....

A competent psychiatrist and compassionate clinical counsellor, that is what keeps Grant's illness from becoming life threatening at the moment. (that is no exaggeration)

 We spend much time in prayer, pleading for understanding, direction and acceptance. And have had many sacred experiences that help us know the choices we have made are the right ones, for him and us.... 

So please stop it. Attitudes and assumptions and advice even with no malice intent, still cause hurt and heartache unnecessarily.

Yes I am sensitive, something I stopped apologizing for that years ago. The only question that is safe "How can I help your family???"

So if you don't know the middle names of at least three rug rats, why I hate Bacel margarine, or the story of my Mom in Moxie's with a T-bone steak...

Then I probably won't take any stock in your two-cent's, so don't waste the email.