Puppy Problems

We got a puppy. That was a month ago. It only took a few hours after bringing him home to remember why we had had exactly FIVE children and not six....I'm not good at adult supervision, consistent feeding  and/ or any potty related duties....

Puppies are cute, cuddly and hilarious....they are also equal parts, needy little Tasmanian devils  that destroy stuff and do disgusting things...

Tucker wrecks stuff at an alarming rate....

Both kitchen rugs shredded...
The bathroom rug has a gaping hole....
Every toilet paper roll put in the downstairs bathroom unrolled through out the basement...
Noah's Ark  animals are now amputees...
The  wrapper of anything, obliterated into a million pieces....
And you know those plastic caps that cover the bolts on your toilets, yeah we don't have those anymore....

Sigh...

The first few weeks I followed Tucker around like a fugitive. Yarding everything out of his mouth...

Now its a thought process.... "will he choke on that, is the cost of replacing that more than the value of some silence, will it teach messy rug rats to pick up earbuds, if he swallows that will it require a vet visit?????...

We just can't have nice stuff....EVER.

My favourite was this morning after the rug rats SWORE the puppy went poop outside....

I bent down to pick up a leaf off the carpet by the back door.... yeah It. WAS NOT. a leaf....


It's a good thing he's so cute, but really.... What were we THINKING!

A Mediocre Mormon

I can't remember the last time we had a family home evening, that's still on Monday night, right?....

Family prayer is usually a contest to see who can sneak in the most inappropriate word....

Scripture study, does scanning someone else FB post count?

I am such a mediocre Mormon....

Here's even more proof of my mediocrity....

Last week the wind started to blow like crazy and then the power went out....

I stumbled around in the dark with the flash light on my dying cell phone and managed to find the only two candles that survived the move, neither wick would light, that expensive crank flashlight/ radio was no where to be found .....

This week we got the tail end of hurricane Ana, crazy wind and rain and a boil water order....Nope the Kramers didn't have a stitch of water in storage, even though we knew it was coming...

Sunday when Holly came home we went to Boston Pizza for dinner, because I had neither the energy, desire to make a pizza pop, let alone dinner for everyone.

There is probably a 1-800 number you should call....on all of us. (except that missionary of ours)

Even though I gave up guilt back in 2004, mom died then....I have felt kinda guilty bad ....

Today I was complaining visiting teaching (first time in months).... " I just can't keep up" I said almost in tears....

She said...

I'm pretty sure Heavenly Father understands, Robin. Especially when no one else does...HE knows how hard it is and the sacrifices you make and  just putting one foot in front of the other, is enough for now.....

Oh how I needed that.....
Mediocre is a triumph when it gets hard, even HE understands that.

Sister Kramer: Bless the Stove Top and Bacon

so i thought i would be cool if i told you what a normal day as missionary is like...

6:20 alarm goes off "i cant believe its morning again!"

 

6:29 alarm goes off again after hitting it a few times...Knees hit the floor i try not to fall asleep as i pray.

 

6:35 work-out (kind of) 

 

6:50 rock, paper, scissors on who gets the shower first (most of the time i just make a run for it)

by 7:30 its breakfast options are dry cereal or toast.

 

8:02 half way through brushing my teeth "oh crap! im late for personal study!" run to the living room knees hit the floor to my companion giving my that 'look"...we pray.

 

8:05 run back to the bathroom because i left the water on

 

8:05--9:00 personal study book of mormon, preach my gospel, talks...and so forth.

 

9:00 knees hit the floor we pray...companion study

 

10:00 ready knees hit the floor we pray and out the door

 

10:02 back in forgot the phone and my planner.

till 12:00 sometimes we go talk to people on main street or have a lesson or knock.

 

12:00 in for lunch stair at the cupboards for a few minutes then just decide to take a nap

.

1:00 ready to go knees hit the floor we pray then out the door.

till 5:00 we knock go see members or have a lesson or knock

 

5:00 in for dinner my companion and i just look at each other "stove top stuffing and bacon it is" if we eat quick enough we have time for a short nap before we have to be back out

 

6:00 ready to go knees hit the floor we pray and out the door

 

6:02 have to go back in cause my companion is still wearing her camo slippers.

til 9:00 we knock see some less active members have a lesson or knock 

 

9:00 we are in the door knees hit the floor  we pray 

til 9:30 we plan for  the next day

 

9:30 knees hit the floor we pray

 

9;45 ready for bed knees hit the floor we pray

 

9:50 lights out almost asleep phone goes off we forget we had a call night with one of our leaders

 

10:20 lights out again knees hit the floor we pray...cant remember getting into bed.

 

6:20 alarm goes off "i cant believe its morning again!" 

love you guys take care :)

love sister Kramer

 

 

Man they pray A LOT! And Stove Top and Bacon???? That just sounds gross.

Kitchens and Chaos

I realised something...

The state of my laundry room and/or  kitchen say everything about how I'm feeling about my life, on any given day....

Clean/ organized, ready for an Istagram shot....
 Means I got my crap together, I can handle this, life is good.

Mount Washmore has overtaken the entire laundry room, I've washed the same load three times cause I keep forgetting to switch it...We have no clean spoons, someone left the milk out overnight again, and I have no idea what the brown stain on the counter is....

Means...well I'm tired, overwhelmed, trying to catch my breath, worried about stuff. Need a nap...and could care less.

But you will probably never see my kitchen or laundry room like that. Not because its never a disaster....Trust me its a disaster more than its not. Its that I don't let people in when life feels like its coming apart....

My kitchen is a biohazard.
I don't even want to talk about laundry.

We've spent a week or two on a continual roller coaster...its just part of our lives...I should be totally used to it by now. But I'm not and at times felt a bit of a "Ferris Wheel freak-out" coming on.

The ride has slowed down, thank heavens. But I have not yet caught my breath...

So I've spent this week avoiding everything. I just don't have it in me to explain anything. Even I get tired of my own story.

We live with a life long mental illness and that's ok, sometimes the load just feels heavier than usual.

Sister Kramer: GROSS

Bailey's LONGEST email ever! With paragraphs and everything. I'm so grateful....(she must not remember, but we bought bagged milk all the time when she was a toddler, before you could get the gallon jugs....and she lived :) )

so as a missionary i have had to adjust to many things in the past 6 months For example i have had to adjust to talking to strangers each day and the struggles of wearing a skirt, also getting up in the very early hours of  the morning( still adjusting to that one) but i never thought that i would have to adjust to milk coming in a BAG! im sorry but i find it just too weird. first of all i love milk but never really got the chance to have it while i was in newfoundland because it only comes in 1L cartons that cost $5 because everything is more expensive in Newfoundland. So i thought that i would be able to have it more often when i came of the rock but i think the fact that it comes in a bag just throws me off just a little to much. 

the weather is gross i think we are getting the tail end of a hurricane! so i think i will be having to get a new coat for the winter because im going to need something that is waterproof. i dont think the weather will be getting any better they say that it will be snowing by november so thats going to be fun. 

during my time in the MTC one of my teachers shared this with me that has really helped me in my hard times. in matthew 14: 14-21...

14 And Jesus went forth, and saw a great multitude, and was moved with compassion toward them, and he healed their sick.
15 ¶And when it was evening, his disciples came to him, saying, This is a desert place, and the time is now past; send the multitude away, that they may go into the villages, and buy themselves victuals.
16 But Jesus said unto them, They need not depart; give ye them to eat.
17 And they say unto him, We have here but five loaves, and two fishes.
18 He said, Bring them hither to me.
19 And he commanded the multitude to sit down on the grass, and took the five loaves, and the two fishes, and looking up to heaven, he blessed, and brake, and gave the loaves to his disciples, and the disciples to the multitude.
20 And they did all eat, and were filled: and they took up of the fragments that remained twelve baskets full.
21 And they that had eaten were about five thousand men, beside women and children.

i know you have heard this story. If we compare our short comings, weaknesses, trials and struggles, anything that we are dealing with in life that we find hard or burdensome, to the loaves and fishes in this story, we can see that we do not have enough on our own. But if we take what we have (the loaves and fishes) to the Lord, He wont turn us away. He will take what we have. He will bless it and make it more then enough to fill us and others. The Lord is always by our side to make weak things become strong. But we need His help in all that we do to overcome the tribulations of life. Go to Him. Pray. Ask for comfort. Do our part. And watch how we are filled with the bread of life. i hope that will help :)

love you guys so much
sister kramer

Bipolar and Boats

A boat in a storm, riding the waves.

September was smooth sailing.

October,  not so much.

When your sweet heart has bipolar disorder you use lots of analogies....mountains, roller-coasters, pogo sticks, bouncing balls, boats.... It's an often useless effort to help others understand.

We've spent most of the last few weeks rocking, up, down...hi, low...angry, sad....energy, none...lost....

It simply breaks my  heart, to watch my exhausted super hero fight to regain ground....

We know exactly where it started and most would just move on, but its not that simple for us.

Have you ever tried to stand up in a dingy in a hurricane??? 

"He seems fine to me"...Yeah, I know, he's good at that in public, actually he probably is "good" for that moment. You see unlike the movies and the stigma, bipolar battles are deeply personal and private ones and rarely seen.

I lay awake often praying and wondering and worrying....hoping that smoother waters are soon on the horizon. And that someone will be inspired to reach out to him.

I don't like this struggle any more than my sweet heart does. I don't like when he is the learning-curve for others, but some never want to learn.

 So please be kind to him, please pray for him, please love him and please never devalue, or minimize his heart ache, just because you don't totally understand.

And please someone help us row this DAMN boat :) 

Turkey Day.

Yup that's our turkey dinner, except it's not turkey and that's not on my mother's china.

The table wasn't set, and the only one not in pyjamas was Superman and I'm pretty sure that's because the only pants he had clean were jeans...

 

Holly and Madison were working so we were left with tweedle dee and man child, who managed to get into a squabble over who had to, not only do the dishes, but scrap them, less than 30 seconds after the blessing...

A discussion over, I don't remember, lead to Manchild getting annoyed that we never listen to him, and suddenly taking a vow of silence...

Manchild has now resorted to silently writing messages in is mashed potatoes.... "you suck" and " bite me" were clearly legible...

"Don't feed Tater, Alex?"..."I'm not!"  but Tater is clearly licking his chops...

Dallyn's vow continues...

"Well at least nobody's said PENIS at the table yet,?!? Alex smirks....

Nice, just nice.

Dallyn scribbles penis.

I give up. And nearly die tripping over the mop bucket still in the kitchen doorway...

Living the dream, one happy holiday at a time. Sigh.

Sister Kramer: I Turn to The Lord

I sent Bailey pictures of Grant's protects around the house....

that looks really cool i think that you should go with the blue. i love that you send me all that dad does its cool to see his talents.

 

this week has been good but i did trip today and scrap up my knees so that was fun.

you should really read the talk Lord is it I from the priesthood part on conference.

I asked if she needed anything....

i am not sure if i need anything but thank you though.

What would you tell another missionary who is struggling?? How do you over come the hard days??? Where do you turn for help and peace??

i turn to the lord. i am on my knees more times then i can count. some days your lows and your highs are so close together on a mission you can walk out of an amazing lesson where the spirit was so strong to face someone so rude to you at the door that you just want to go home and hide under the covers. But one thing that I turn to is the Book of Mormon. Because no matter where you are in it, it has a power to give you strength because every page and every verse is always filled with the spirit that gives you what you need to get you through those moments..

Love you guys so much. Take care

Sister Kramer


Thanks for the answer Bailey and the example. We love and miss you, everyday.

Didn't MEAN It.

"I didn't mean it!"

When I think back on my two-decades of,  not so glorious, parenting. I can think of countless times I heard the classic "I didn't mean it!" rebuttal to my scolding a  rug rat for the mistreatment of a fellow rug rat...

{It was the day we brought Alex (or maybe it was Dallyn) home from the hospital....

My Visiting Teachers had stopped by to meet the new baby, we were chatting in the living room, watching my other kids play in the yard, out the window...

I watch in slow motion as five year old Holly raises a snow shovel, high above her head and precedes to whack 3 year old Madison over the head with it...

I race outside to a screaming Madison and a cowering Holly..."I didn't mean it Mommy, I didn't mean it!" the usually obedient Holly says crying. Madison although still whaling was not injured, thanks to her Kramer hard head and the wholly toque that was on it.

" I didn't mean it!"

Oh I am 100% positive that Holly meant it....What Holly didn't anticipate was that whacking Madison would cause the whaling and screaming the entire neighborhood enjoyed....she was barely five so the whole cause and effect thing was still tumbling around her synapses. But I'm guessing it quickly stuck, cause she never took out a sibling with a snow shovel again :) }

But I still hear "I didn't mean it" but lately its been grown ups saying it. Ok so I don't know any adults (personally anyway) who go around whacking others with snow shovels. But I do know adults who can, especially with words and opinions, be insensitive, thoughtless, careless, assuming, uneducated, rude even....

But when the fact that their words or actions caused sadness, turmoil, pain to another...we often hear a "oh, I didn't  mean it (that way)" or in defense of another's careless words or actions..."oh, they surely  didn't mean it!" 

What is actually being said is "I (They) didn't realize my (their) words were insensitive, thoughtless, careless, harmful, opinionated"  and " I didn't or don't understand or accept that my words are harmful to you."

"I didn't mean it", is not a free pass or an instant antiseptic that cures all harm done.

Pain is pain.

An "I'm sorry" , without an excuse is a starting point... listening to understand another's loss, pain, sickness, family situation, heartache, does help . For,when we truly understand each other, we don't hurt one another. And sometimes, realizing if we just can't understand something, it's really okay to keep our opinions to ourselves.

So...Please for the sake of snow shovels, be kind, thoughtful, unassuming, and careful or QUIET.

Sister Kramer: Only in Canada

that is so amazing that brecken got baptized i am sad that i wasnt able to be there but i am so excited for him!

Sydney has been great it is quite different the NFL but i dont think anything will be like that place. we do so much knocking here it is crazy! The Branch Members here are quite cool. We were able to play street hockey before conference (only in Canada would that happen) :)

It is quite a beautiful place here. Its like one of those post cards that you see with all of the autumn colours.

We were able to travel to New Glasgow for Zone Conference. Its quite a different feel being around that many missionaries cause in NFL there are only  16 missionaries and here we had at least 22 missionaries. So it was cool to meet everyone. 

Yes I believe that we are getting iPads, I'm not really sure how that will work. President Leavitt said that we should have them by the end of the year.

love you guys :)

Conference Comfort

The first Weekend in October and April, every year is General Conference. A weekend we receive instruction from our Church leaders from Salt Lake, Utah

My first memories of General Conference...I was five maybe six and trying with little avail to stay still on my cold metal chair, in the back of the Placentia Stake Center, in a frilly green dress, (I have never liked dresses.)...

 On the giant scene at the front, a bunch of grey haired guys spoke in succession....they all looked they same to me and in my little mind I wondered if  God himself was speaking to us, they were just that old.

In the late 1970's, satellite broadcast receive by the gigantic satellite dish, at the Stake Center was the only way you could listen/watch General Conference, in Southern California. Mom took us to every broadcast

I've even read accounts of my Great Grandmother attending Conference in the 1870's, her and her father went by ox teams from Logan to Salt Lake, a journey of several days...

Today "we" {me and the offspring in varying degrees of sleepiness} watched/listen to conference on my iPad, sprawled out on living room couches. The trek from our bedrooms to the living room requiring negligible planning or sacrifices, because of technology neither my mother or great grandmother could have ever imagined.

But here I am, generations later, dragging taking my kids to conference...Why?

Because I need answers and guidance and  comfort and General Conference and those (now, not so) old men and women seem to always have the answers my heart is searching for.  So I watch and listen and soak in as much as I can.

 And I have a feeling that is the same reason my mom took us and the same reason my Great Great grandfather took Grandma Ash....they needed answers and hoped like I do that some day our kids would seek answers at General Conference.

Answers, comfort, guidance....

Elder Holland's talk on helping the poor and the needy, did just that. Answers, comfort and guidance ...

 

 

So even though the rug rats weren't as enthused as me....(I played bingo by my self)....

I hope they will, one day, find answers, comfort and guidance at General Conference :)