I realised something...
The state of my laundry room and/or kitchen say everything about how I'm feeling about my life, on any given day....
Clean/ organized, ready for an Istagram shot....
Means I got my crap together, I can handle this, life is good.
Mount Washmore has overtaken the entire laundry room, I've washed the same load three times cause I keep forgetting to switch it...We have no clean spoons, someone left the milk out overnight again, and I have no idea what the brown stain on the counter is....
Means...well I'm tired, overwhelmed, trying to catch my breath, worried about stuff. Need a nap...and could care less.
But you will probably never see my kitchen or laundry room like that. Not because its never a disaster....Trust me its a disaster more than its not. Its that I don't let people in when life feels like its coming apart....
My kitchen is a biohazard.
I don't even want to talk about laundry.
We've spent a week or two on a continual roller coaster...its just part of our lives...I should be totally used to it by now. But I'm not and at times felt a bit of a "Ferris Wheel freak-out" coming on.
The ride has slowed down, thank heavens. But I have not yet caught my breath...
So I've spent this week avoiding everything. I just don't have it in me to explain anything. Even I get tired of my own story.
We live with a life long mental illness and that's ok, sometimes the load just feels heavier than usual.
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