They're So Worth It.

At some point this week I just stopped counting the texts, phone calls, emails, and Facebook messages....

I guess Girls Camp is a big deal, even in a Stake as small as ours. :)

In that same moment,  I was thinking "What was I thinking, saying I'd do this?!?!?" "What were they thinking asking me???".....

I decided to grab myself a stiff drink (Dr Pepper) and a bag of Dorito's {yes I know but, Perrier and Kale chips would have just solidified my frustration.} Saddle myself up to my computer and simply barrel through the responses and documents that needed doing.

Numbers, we need numbers...

Minutes later as I was paging through messages and emails trying to compile an accurate list....

I typed in the name of a girl and I remembered holding her in the hospital soon after she was born...the next one to my list, that girl who never sat still once in my Sunbeam class in primary...the next added, that six year old, who would climb to the top of my pantry and steel marshmallows ever time I babysit her :)....

I then realised my tears...

This camp has nothing to do with numbers. It is about our Young Women, each amazing and awesome. Each loved by their Heavenly Father. Camp is for and about them and is a place for them to feel of that love our Heavenly Father has for them.

What a privilege it is to help facilitate that. Bring it on. All the time, energy and effort is so worth it. Because they are worth it.

 

2038

Personal and Confidential, its on the outside of every white envelope  we get from our insurance company. We get them all. the. time. And they always elicits the same momentary annoyed panic....

What do they want now?

For the last  two years its been varying forms of "Is he STILL Bipolar ?" followed by some kind of well then "How Bipolar-y, is he?" 

Today's was different...

Already opened and laying on the coffee table, I start reading before I even look at my Superman sitting across the room...

Your benefits are now approved past the two year qualifying period....as long as your disability continues....you can be eligible until **** 2038.

"This is great news" I say before I even look up....

I then stop and actually see my Superman's face. Sadness...Defeat...Frustration....at first I don't understand but in a moment I get it

To him that letter represents defeat and even failure. He has done everything in his power to heal, handle, cope and at times even run from his devastating diagnosis...I've watched every triumphant step and I know how hard he fights...And yet a diagnosis that couldn't have come to a kinder, more gentle man. Came and disabled.

What do you do for work? I'm disabled...

There was no relief in the letter and my heart simply aches for him. I know this journey of ours, is part of making us into who Heavenly Father intends us to be. But today it just hurts...

Sister Kramer: Through Heaven's Eyes

thats so exciting that Aiden got his call!

this week was really good i have been studying alot about true conversion and what it really means to be converted to the gospel. there is a talk be Dallin H. Oaks called "the challenge to become" it is one of my favorites! it talks about how conersion is not just a change of behavior but a change is our very nature a rebirth! he talks about the parable of the laborers in the vineyard. and how even though they all come at different times they are all given the same reward at the end he says "the masters reward in the final judgment will not be based on how long we labored in the vineyard. We do not obtain our heavenly eward by punching in a time clock. what is essential is that our labors  in the workplace of the Lord have caused us to become something for some of us this requires a longer time then others.

it reminded be of a song form the movie prince of egypt... the stone that sits on the very top of a mountains mighty face does it think its more important the the stones that form the base how can we know what our life is worth our where our values lie...we must look at our life through heavens eyes. to truly turn our will to God we must be able to see ourselves the way the God sees us and then we can know what he would have us become.

i was wondering if you could send me my seminary scriptures i think they are still at the church not to sure you could ask alex or madison to fine them thanks

love you guys sister kramer  

Just Grateful

We headed home, on the inland island highway tonight, it's an hour drive we do often....so often that the ocean and mountain vistas sometimes blend into the background as mundane...

But tonight those vistas seemed different....

Maybe it's the way the pink light danced through the storm clouds in the distance or the sun shining like pennies on the water, or the many shades of purple cast by the  mainland mountains across the straight....

As I soaked in the beautiful drive I just felt so grateful....

Grateful that we are on the other side of a few difficult weeks. Grateful that joy always comes again. Grateful that there are people in our lives that walk beside us in the storms and in the sunshine. Grateful that we live in a place were God's beauty reminds us often of his power and his love.

Just grateful. 

Sister Kramer: Poutine

We have been studying the Atonement a lot in our missionary work it is amazing to see the Atonement work in other peoples lives Christ literately changes people it is humbling to witness.

This week was good we had in person interviews with our Mission President for the last time because we are getting a new mission President at the end of june. It will be sad to see President and Sister Leavitt go they have done an amazing work for the mission and for the missionaries!

My companion had a poutine for the first time today you should have seen the look on her face... :) dont worry i am showing her everything great about Canada :)

things are going really well

love you guys :)

Sister Kramer

Food Fight

We left the church tonight at 8:30 pm and realized nobody had had anything to eat, unless you count the 17 tater tots I shovelled  off the cookie sheet around noon...

So White Spot it was.

Even the waitress commented on how dressed up we were. Yeah we were at Church....to which a nameless rug rat, whispered in a southern accent "Would you like to know more about Jesus?" Just loud enough for me to hear and laugh awkwardly.....

I guess the Kramer dinner table is the same in public, as it is in private. Something I didn't realize until the ridiculously cranky old couple sitting behind us got up to pay their bill and glared at us all the way out the door.

 Seriously I haven't had that happen since the Dynasty Restaurant 15 years ago when the kids spilled seven, yes seven glasses of water in a 20 minute period....

Maybe it was that Grant and I got in an argument discussion about the zombie stick figure family on the back of our van....If we are going to have Zombie stick figures, we should have all seven of us...But there are only five us at home, we should only have 5 cause there are only 5 in our VAN family...is there such a thing as a VAN family....

To which Dallyn said "Dad, that's the equivalent of saying there are no girls allowed in your tree fort" What???

There was Alex showing us her latest Dub Smash videos....

Dallyn declaring that we, his archaic parents need to internet more...

Then Dallyn arguing with Alex over who had a bigger moustache, after Alex declared Dallyn's was non existent....

Maybe it was Grant, flicking a random ice cube at me just as the waitress brought our food...

It was probably because we laughed, a lot. I love it when we laugh. Yeah I guess seeing a happy family in public is a rarity ;)

Sorry glaring couple. But I'd do it again.  These happy moments are precious to us because we also are well acquainted some heartache.

Sister Kramer: Hi Mom.

Bailey Skyped home for Mother's Day....The next time we see her it will be when she flies home in November... (Her mission has flown by)

It was great to hear her voice and see that smile. She is well and happy, I couldn't ask for more. We ended our call with a family prayer and I am so grateful for the sweet reassuring spirit that filled our home. After our good bye, I let the tears flow, mostly because I just really miss her. It's hard, but so worth it...

Here's her letter she read to me yesterday day....

Dear Mom,

So i have been on my mission a year now, and do you remember how you always said that when i grew up i would understand why you are crazy well i get it now i understand. You have always wanted the best for me and new the potential that i had even when i didnt know. Now when i look back on the things that you have taught me I think of the 2000 stripling warriors "now they never had fought yet they did not fear death and they did think more upon the liberty of their fathers then they did upon their lives yea they had been taught by their mothers that if they did not doubt God would deliver them. Mom you have taught me not to fear...that if i just trust in God He will make everything work out. Through out my mission i have been able to look back and notice all the times that you trusted in God even though i didnt understand why. I understand now that you had faith great faith that Heavenly Father would help you. you taught me to trust in God and to know that all blessings come through Him. Mom i want to say thank you, because of all the things that you and dad tayght me i am the missionary i am today. because of you i am able to be a servant in the Lords hands. because of you i am able to help so many lives. thank you so much love you.

Mother's Day Dysfunction

Mother's Day still hit me hard this morning, I didn't want it too but my heart hurt as I rolled out of bed...

I even got a man you look tired today as I walked in the Church...Yeah, I guess was what I mumbled, but what I should have said was, Nope, just sad...

I made it through my meetings by surfing pinterest (bad me) whatever....

Then...Grant surprised me during Bailey's Skype call, he had forced asked the kids to each write a letter to me a letter and they each, including Bailey read them to me....

I sobbed and laughed and sobbed and laughed again. Those tears soothed my soul....

Dallyn's was voted the favourite by his sibs (I'm not allowed to pick favourites)

Dear mom

Thank you, Thank you for raising me with a sense of humor. Thank you for not raising a 15 year old alcoholic like the rest of my grade. Thank you for teaching me how to take care of myself (cook, clean) even though I don’t always show that I know those things you have taught me all of them and much more. And thank you for putting up with my morning ******* mood and for being a funny parent who can get sarcasm and joke. Thank you for giving birth to me (I'm sure that sucked). Thank you for being you. Living here wouldn’t be the same without your good and bad side. Even though this family is pretty dysfunctional you seem to make it work. I love you and all the things that you do. And I know that we yell back and forth and I don’t always do what you say but I know that you love me no matter what I do. And I guess now that its mother's day I'll let it go that you called me an _______ ________. I guess what i am saying is that even though I don’t tell you every day and that I don’t always show it. I love you and all the things that you do for me.

Dallyn.

Sister Kramer: Upside Down and Backwards

Gotta love rather cryptic messages from our sweet missionary... Momma had to edit :)

oh my goodness this week has been upside down and backward....

on Saturday we got a call from my mission president! ( right away you know something is up!) he tell us that there is going to be a mid transfer!!and companion is going to be transferred to Maine. so to day i dropped of my companion at the bus so that she can travel to Maine and picked up a temporary companion until i pick up my new companion tonight at 10pm it has been a fun week.

 but on a good note of the the members gave us lobsters so we took them home and cooked 'em they were good but not going to lie i like crab better!

i dont have anything planned right now for skyping home because it is stake confrence that day as well so i will call or email you on sunday morning when i know what is going on but i will most likely skyping mid afternoon your time but i will let you know! 

sorry this is so short but i dont have a lot of time to day with the tranfer going on but i have a bunch of pictures to send you next week

love you guys 

He IS awesome.

So Superman leans over and only kinda whispers...

"You should get up there and tell'em what an AWESOME husband you have."
(It was testimony meeting)
 

"No...why don't you go up there, yourself" I shot back.
 

"Well it would just be awkward if I went up and bragged about myself" superman says, rather proud of himself.

He didn't need to see my eyes roll to know they had....

Sometimes when I sit in the chapel on Sunday and review the week, I'm pleasantly surprised we're actually still sitting in the same pew together, as a somewhat happy family...(oh come on, y'all have those weeks).

Yup this was one of those weeks....
Surprised by the intensity of struggle. Nothing helped and our continual prayers to calm the troubled water felt completely pointless. But just as the battle seemed unending and unstoppable....Listening ears, and a tender heart reached in and provided that safe place to let the hurt be heard above the anger. A very sacred moment.

I will be forever grateful for those many tender souls, Heavenly Father sends to help our sometimes crazy family. We really are so blessed.


 So yes this week ended much better than it started. Thank. Heavens. And yes my superman is Awesome, but neither of us have to say that over a pulpit for us to know it ;)