2038

Personal and Confidential, its on the outside of every white envelope  we get from our insurance company. We get them all. the. time. And they always elicits the same momentary annoyed panic....

What do they want now?

For the last  two years its been varying forms of "Is he STILL Bipolar ?" followed by some kind of well then "How Bipolar-y, is he?" 

Today's was different...

Already opened and laying on the coffee table, I start reading before I even look at my Superman sitting across the room...

Your benefits are now approved past the two year qualifying period....as long as your disability continues....you can be eligible until **** 2038.

"This is great news" I say before I even look up....

I then stop and actually see my Superman's face. Sadness...Defeat...Frustration....at first I don't understand but in a moment I get it

To him that letter represents defeat and even failure. He has done everything in his power to heal, handle, cope and at times even run from his devastating diagnosis...I've watched every triumphant step and I know how hard he fights...And yet a diagnosis that couldn't have come to a kinder, more gentle man. Came and disabled.

What do you do for work? I'm disabled...

There was no relief in the letter and my heart simply aches for him. I know this journey of ours, is part of making us into who Heavenly Father intends us to be. But today it just hurts...