Where's Our Stupid Casserole?

We deal with an illness every single day...but it's not the kind people bring casseroles for. No... they don't send get well soon cards or balloon bouquets and the phone rarely rings asking how thing really are....

But I guess most people never have to sit in a psychiatrist's office, like us. Most people don't hear the brutal honesty of a doctors words or the choices we are forced to make because of them. The reality of the burden we carry clearer than I'd like.

People don't understand our need to cancel plans or stick to a schedule or our inability to commit or how even a minor change in schedule affects us...We are even met with the "Think of the blessing you are missing out on." when we try to explain,  or my favourite "You know how blessed you'll be if you just do it."

But for most people an hour of missed sleep or an extra engagement or a slight disagreement, only requires an extra  Dr. Pepper or a quick cat nap and maybe a cupcake...

But for us it sometimes means a never ending bungee jump, for days or weeks or longer....up, down, up, down...

The last two weeks have been that never ending jump...yesterday was calmer, but I still feel like I just stepped off the GRAVITRON (does that ride even exist anymore?)....

I feel exhausted, lonely and maybe even a little bitter (I know I shouldn't). "Where's our stupid casserole?" played on repeat in my mind the last few days...If the diagnosis were any other...somebody would have brought a casserole by now.

Okay so we don't really NEED a casserole and most of the time I don't even know what we need....but please listen with your heart, instead of your ears when anyone says no.