To All Me Moms :)

Years ago my sister sent me a card that said "Good mothers let their kids lick the beaters, Great mothers turn the mixer off first." :) Yup, that sums up my Mothering skills to a T.

 If there was ever something in this life that I felt completely unqualified for, it was motherhood. Somedays I honestly still feel that way....

Mental illness made my own Mother's journey through motherhood, challanging. Showing love and compassion was often hampered by a mind lost in turmoil but we always knew she loved us dearly...

Still, especially as a teenager, I longed for a mother that would hold me and tell me everything would be alright, and somehow I had convinced myself  that I just wasn't good enough for that.

As a very young mother I knew I was the one who would choose the kind of mother I could be and did all I could to be that ideal mother....The cookie baking, never raise your voice, my kids know all the stories from the scriptures inside and out by the time they are three, kind...but somehow I still yelled at my kids and burnt the cookies....I felt so inadequate and guilty...

Mother's Day was beyond hard, I dreaded the day. For years I wished I could skip the mind-numbing guilt trip....

Then slowly my mind and heart changed.

I began to see the mothering influence of woman all around me....Dear friends you filled in the pieces missing in my heart. Women who taught me to laugh at the spilt paint, to put a roast in the oven, to see the good in all people and that my kids didn't need a perfect mother they needed me.

 I'm not alone either, I have many"mothers" in my life who cry with me, laugh with me, celebrate life joys and lift life's sorrows and remind me often that I am always loved

So on this Mother's Day I honour you...my friends and "mothers". Thank you for all you do. I love you.

It's Okay I Still Love You.....

The ideal vision of motherhood has always eluded me.... My experience with motherhood thus far has never reflected a Hallmark card, not even kind of....but I still love them and wouldn't change a thing.

Even when.....

I still love you..... when you leave your scooter in the middle of the mud room, and I trip over said scooter, racing for the batthroom and pretty much pee my pants, because having five babies equals the bladder control of a puppy.

I still love you...when you tell penis jokes at the dinner table and I have to use all avenues of self-contol to scold you instead of dying in hystarics and you continue to tell jokes because making me laugh/blush has now become a sport.

I still love you...when I get two inches of luke warm water in the bottom of the tub, when I was expecting to have a nice, relaxing hot bubble bath...because an unrepentant  rug rat stayed in the shower 'til February

I still love you...when you roll your eyes into the back of your skull 'cause I can't figure out how to play fruit ninja or upload pictures from the i-pod and you have to help me, in public.

I still love you....when you find and consume the donuts I hid in the oven drawer and then try to deflect my wrath by lecturing me that  "sharing is taught by example"....I don't have to share darlings...they're donuts dang it.

Can you guess which kid did what???

#5, #4, #2, #1, #3

Motherhood is bliss, isn't it :)

Change of Heart

"It's snowing still," said Eeyore gloomily.

"So it is."

"And freezing."

"Is it?"

"Yes," said Eeyore. "However," he said, brightening up a little, "we haven't had an earthquake lately."

Yup, sounds about right.... I've been feeling pretty Eeyore-ish lately and this was going to be a complete ode to Eeyore post...After all its been a rough week and I totally deserve to complain and whine, right?!?....

Well I had a bit of an epiphany {aka had a chat with  my much older :) wiser friend}.....

Maybe its time to embrace my sometimes crazy life and stop being in such a hurry to change it. Now is a time for lessons and growth. There are big blessings along the way that I might miss completely if all I focus on the hard stuff....

So instead of my whoa is me whining....I'll tell you about my gratitude and peace...

Last weekend I attended our Stake Relief Society's Women's Conference....Dear friends taught a class called "You are better than you think you are"...full of encouragement....

Our perfect Father does not expect us to be perfect children yet. He had only one such Child. Meanwhile, therefore, sometimes with smudges on our cheeks, dirt on our hands, and shoes untied, stammeringly but smilingly we present God with a dandelion--as if it were an orchid or a rose! If for now the dandelion is the best we have to offer, He receives it, knowing what we may later place on the altar. It is good to remember how young we are spiritually.

 Neal A. Maxwell, Source: That Ye May Believe, p. 100

We must remember that we did not come to this earth to gain our worth-we brought it with us
Ardeth Kapp

Discouragement is not the absence of adequacy but the absence of courage.
Elder Maxwell CR, 1976

Three of my favourite quotes from that class, but more importantly was the feeling I felt during that class and conference...I felt understood, valued and loved. Filling my very empty bucket to overflowing...

Heading to Port Alberni for the Timbre Choir Concert took a little finagling...but I manage to convince two friends it was worth the drive and there was ice cream in it for them  (which I bought so only one of us actually broke the Sabbath  ;) )

The main theme of the concert was peace....And that is exactly what we felt, and oh so needed. Hearing the best ever performance of "The Rain is Over and Gone" a reminder of what heaven must sound like.

Good and peaceful things, even during a week that took a little more courage than normal to get through,

As I look back over the last few trying days I am humbled by all those quiet tender mercies placed in our path. Things are good, especially when you count your blessing instead of your challenges.


See I'm not really Eeyore after all.

Top Gun For Real

The Superman and I had the day off together ... After a morning of trying to not hit each other with hammers lovingly hanging pictures together (can`t wait to do that again =/) We ran a few errands and decided to kill a few hours at the beach, but we never got there....

As we drove by the airport a bunch of people had pulled over and were watching the runway. So we did the same. Ten minutes later the F-18 hornet fighter jets started practicing take-off and landings. It was "Top Gun" in real-life, absolutely AMAZING! We didn't have our camera :( But Grant's ancient i-pod got this....Its LOUD !
 

Its hard to tell but it was so close you could see the tail numbers and the power made your teeth rattle...We watched in awe for almost an hour....Have I ever mentioned I love living in the Comox Valley :)

Soothing the Soul

Dad at his Masters recital at Utah State in 1968. The first recital performed in the new music building.

As a very young child, my first memories of my Dad involve music... As a toddler sitting on red velvet theater seats as my Dad conducted the pit orchestra for a production of Peter Pan and watching in awe as Peter Pan flew over head....Sitting in the stands during a High School football game as my Dad conducted the marching band, atop a giant step ladder, during half-time, while we drank A&W root beer....

If I had to narrow my Dad`s legacy down to one word, it would be MUSIC....

Dad taught us to love music, It is fitting now as I deal with his loss and the unavoidable grief, that I turn to music to comfort and bring some peace....

I love this song.... I first heard a dear friend sing the heck out of this, a few years a go and have loved it ever since. It is a song of hope and joy and reminds me to sing after each storm

  (I like the arrangement better with a soloist backed by a choir, but couldn`t find that version)

Dirait-on from Les Chansons Des Roses.....My Dad loved every style of music (except Rap, if you wanted my dad to start ranting you just had to ask him what he thought of the dreaded genres) Several years ago we were on a senic drive in Utah and he said  you have to hear this, it goes perfect with the view (I think my dad saw the world with a never ending sound track) He popped in a CD and flipped right to this track (His version was the Los Angles Master Chorale, a concert he had recently attended) There is a beauty to this peice that I have never heard quite repeated.It matched the beautiful Utah red rock perfectly..... He then sent me the CD a few weeks later and I would listen to it on repeat, for hours.....




Dad loved musicals and had either performed in or attended performances of most. But his favourite was "You're A Good Man Charlie Brown". He was the percussionist in the pit orchestra on many productions of this, And could recite every single line....

But the song I remember the most is Happiness is....Happiness is playing the drum in your own school band...Dad's happiest place in life was behind his drum kit, this song spoke to his heart.


Dad loved music, and so do I :)

It's Happy Star Trek (no Wars) Day, Right?!

I didn't start life a geek, but I did marry into the nationality....The Superman has forced educated me in all things sci-fi related for the last two decades....

And I like a good wife, have napped my way through most movies as my Superman was wowed and awed by this computer-generated make believe. Now the sci-fi gene must be a dominant one, because, in spite of all of my efforts the Superman has indoctrinated our rug rats from uteruo..

And this is the result....

COOKIES (made by the rug rats) in honour of May the Fourth....

Can you find the misspelled one??? GO!

Grant: "My work here is done."

Me: "I am so out numbered!"

Alex, Doesn't Fall too Far From the Tree

I'm onto my fourth female thirteen year-old, and I am no closer to figuring the (we-act-like-we-are-perpetually-stuck-in-a-mind-numbing-Disney-sitcom) oddly quirky drama queen creature out, five years later....

Jo (AKA Alex) our current 13 year-old is a smart, funny, easy going and couldn't keep a straight face at a funeral, if she had to, kind of girl....

Having a kid like this is delightful 99.9 percent of the time....

Yesterday the non-stop goofiness drove me BATTY!!!!

From the moment she walked in the door from school, I knew I was in trouble.

She did her pterodactyl and then flamingo impression,  told me the latest (inappropriate anatomy) jokes from the minds of her brilliant classmates and asked a "birds and bees" question...not sure if she was trying to ruffle my feathers or actually test my knowledge patience ...

She hadn't even been in the door five minutes.

I thought maybe a walk would make her knock it off  give me some bonding time with my two daughters (Madison tagged along) Instead they fed off of each other and by the time we met the Superman at work I was ready to sell both of them to the lowest bidder....

"What's the matter Robin, you're looking a little frazzled", says the ever observant Superman

"They're driving me NUTS!!" "Oh Robin, they're just having fun...."

"Five minutes later, when their spot on "Sing in the Rain" dance turns into , whacking each other with the umbrellas. Grant says "Knock it off!!!".... "Come on Grant, they're just having fun!?!" (I couldn't stop myself)


By dinner time Alex was in her finest form of the night....."Who wants to bless the food?" Dallyn is volun-told and as he starts our favourite thirteen year-old pipes up "I dare you to rhyme it [the prayer]" Alex enough!!! Grant and I say in unison...Dallyn snickers through the entire prayer, but keeps the rhyming to himself....

As soon as Dallyn finishes, Alex......

"Please bless this corn BREAD, that it doesn't make us all DEAD...."

"We are thankful for this DAY, that we all could gather to PRAY..."

See mom its fun!!!

 Alex STOP!!!

 Now all of them are have a rhyming prayer contest, Great all  those lessons on the purpose of prayer have sunk in nicely, I see :)

Grant to Me: "You know that ones (Alex) just like YOU!!!!" The only one you have to blame for this is yourself, Robin....

Now I would almost never condone such irreverent behaviour. But my heart so needed a good laugh
 And Alex, don't ever STOP :)