A House Fell On Us (TWICE)

I think I know what the Wicked Witch felt like in the Wizard of OZ, When the house fell on her.... We have the weight of Dad's house on our shoulders right now....I saw the pictures again yesterday and I just cried. I looked again this morning and I got in the shower and cried....

 

I don't know what to think....

 

This is the SECOND house Kelli and I will clean out. Mom's eight years ago and now Dad's.

 

Honestly, it's hard to see beyond this legacy and that my parents were not THIS.

 

THIS is what their mental illness and their dementia did to their houses.

 

Mom's house was way, WAY worse.

 

So I know that we will conquer this.

 

We have 5 days and I believe in miracles.

 

But it's hard not to feel like the Wicked Witch right now.

This used to be a well manicured yard with a patio, lawn and play house...(believe the landscaper has removed some of the piles, but we are prepared to get dirty)

Not Neighbourly RANT

***Warning: so I might swear, once maybe twice in this post. Don't read  my blog if you're perfect, I wouldn't want to corupt you :) ****


It's a good thing Kelli is on the front line with all of my Dad's affairs....She is much more diplomatic than I, but today she got an email from one of my Dad's new neighbours that actually chapped her hide.... It just p****** me off. (Kelli's has more heavenly qualities, there's a shocker)

Reason # 5879 I would NEVER live in Orange County again.

Facts: We are headed to California in two weeks to clean out our fathers home and prepare it for sale. My parents bought the home, brand new well over 40 years ago. Both or one or the other have lived there ever since. My sister sent emails to all the neighbours on the Cul-de-sac (Dad's house is at the very end). Explaining that the first week of Oct there would be dumpsters, a moving truck and activity at the house.... 'cause she's courteous that way

Since Dad's passing we have paid much to clean up the yard, deal with pest control, allowed neighbours to park in the drive way and use Dad's garbage bins....All of the neighbours have been very kind and accommodating....Until....


The NEW next door neighbour , today.....

I guess , This neighbour moved in less than a year ago......


I am your dad's next door neighbor.

First, I am so sorry for your loss.

It's nice to hear upcoming process for cleaning your dad's home from you.

It sounds good.

Another my big concern is about the pine trees in your dad's front and back yard.

There are always many pine leaves in my yard.

Even though my family clean these almost every day, my yard doesn't look clean.

A lot of leaves are on my roof, too. And, my other neighbor said it may cause some problems like

leaking in my roof so I worry about this.

Also, my main sewer line backed up one month ago and I found clogged roots in the sewer line.

My husband called a repair man and cleared the roots in my sewer line.

I think the roots probably were from the pine trees because there is no trees around my house.

I hope you have any plan to deal with these pine trees.

Thank you."

First please don't say "Sorry For Your Loss", in the same email you bitch about pine needles....{Those words, in that context only add to our pain and frankly piss me off}

Second, Unless you are legally blind and/ or your realtor has magical powers. Those fifty year old pine trees and the 100's of other mature trees surrounding the neighbourhood were completely visible at the time of your purchase....(Our Dad has spent $20,000 in the last five years to care for those trees) And maybe I've lived on the "Island" to long....But if I wanted to remove healthy 50 year old trees, I would end up on the evening news and receive hate mail....If you don't like pine trees, Why did buy a house in a neighbour hood full of them???

Third, If you don't want to deal with fifty year old sewer lines, Don't buy a FIFTY YEAR OLD house, just saying....


Fourth, I have 100 foot fir trees in my back yard. Two of them, we even had a wind storm last night, The trees dropped branches and pine cones all over the ground (its a gravity, science thing). Funny,  not one of my five or so neighbours called to complain. CAUSE that's what trees do. So glad I live in a beautiful rain forest. Were people like trees.

That's what my response would have been. See that's why Kelli's in charge.

I just want this house part to be over, do you blame me????



 

My BLISSFUL Life

The stick figure family means I have accomplished all my maternal goals and my life nothing but bliss as I dance around in my skirt and aporon...making things out of nutella and mason jars....Yeah,RIGHT?!?!

The back to school adjustment this year has felt more chaotic and crazy than usual...I really don't get it, they are a year older {maturity?} and we have 4, instead 5 public school students (that's less right?). It should be easier???

 

They are just louder and more opinionated....and bedtime, well with all teenagers, it's apparently just a suggestion =/. Some mornings I feel like I've run a marathon before I even watch The View. I feel like I've just been a referee last week, sending them to their perspective corners....So the louder you yell, stomp up the stairs or slam the door, the righter you are. (Teenage (ill) Logic)

 

Seminary started this morning, dark and early and it is a lifesaver honestly....It splits up my brood...the older ones are out of the house before the younger ones get up AND and, it makes my angels dead tired and asleep before 9 pm.

 

I'm hoping things settle as we get used to a routine (maybe)....

 

 

And just in case you think we have the perfect life....This is my house, this morning AFTER the kids SAID they "cleaned up"...

They SWITCHED the laundry (stopped the dryer, pulled out their still damp jeans and walk away, to them the dryer door only opens)

They DID the dishes (if I cram all the dirty dishes in the sink and stack the pans, they will magically do themselves)

They CLEANED the bathroom (just shoving all the laundry in the overflowing hamper and jamming the lid shut, yup it's clean).

 

No they have never understood the definition of "MOM CLEAN"

 

The mess is now waiting for them to walk through the door :).... 

 

 

Gotta love my BLISSFUL life.

Church Mice

So I'm kinda a ( sewing) nerd....

After church and my {much deserved} nap coma. I was surfing primary music blogs....Yes, there are even more laminating obsessed people out there, they're worse than me me.....

 

 I saw the idea for Church Mice a few weeks ago, but could find the post again. They are about the size of  shoe box and are really heavy....Their purpose is to remind kids who have a hard time with the wiggles, to sit still and be quiet...I have no idea if they will work, but I thought they were adorable...

 

 

So instead of doing anything really productive, I made my own pattern by cutting a large triangle, and used a large cup to make the ears, there are made out of denim scraps, so they will be durable. Each has a long rick-rack tail

 

I filled them with about 3 lbs of rice each and add stuffing on top.

 

 

They were simple and took about half an hour each. if they don't work...they'll make great door stops :)

 

Spider Alert:

Oh and meet our spider friend the rug rats found behind the deep freeze last night....lets just say more than one of them screams like a girl :)

Primary-ly Kindness

I've been doing the music in primary for just over a month now and....

I absolutely LOVE it!

The kids are funny, unassuming and honest.

 

I noticed a few things right away....

The kids noticed my lazy eyes. It's hard for them to tell who I'm looking and its been quite funny really. I had a very young child stand a foot from me and just stare at the eye that wasn't looking at them, trying desperately to figure it out. They meant absolutely no harm. It just made me smile. Always calling the kids by their names solves most of the issue.

 

The other thing was that the kids are loving, kind and accepting of each other MOST of the time...But sometimes through not understanding one another can show frustration or be unkind....

 

With most of them heading back to school I thought last Sunday was a perfect time to talk about differences and kindness.... 

 

I asked if any of them had ever been made fun of?  and how it mad them feel??I then showed them this picture (my entire life of photos is the definition of AWKWARD)

I told them a little bit about me...My twin sister and I were born early, my muscles don't work the same way theirs do (cp), spent my entire childhood in physical therapy to work on balance and walking, I spent most of Kindergarten and all of Grade 4 in casts and a wheelchair and rode a special bus to school....{And that was why my eyes didn't work together}

 

 I talked about how sad it made me feel when other kids made fun of me or were unkind. But that I always knew my Heavenly Father loved me. 

 

I then taught them (some already knew it) one of my favourite primary song.....

 

I'll Walk With You

 

If you don’t walk as most people do,
Some people walk away from you,
But I won’t! I won’t!
If you don’t talk as most people do,
Some people talk and laugh at you,
But I won’t! I won’t!
I’ll walk with you. I’ll talk with you.
That’s how I’ll show my love for you.
Jesus walked away from none.
He gave his love to ev’ryone.
So I will! I will!
Jesus blessed all he could see,
Then turned and said, “Come, follow me.”
And I will! I will!
I will! I will!
I’ll walk with you. I’ll talk with you.
That’s how I’ll show my love for you

 

 

 

You never know if the message really sinks in....but they were all singing and that's all I needed :)

 

A few other things I have found works well...

Instruments, they love to make noise. It works well on "Choose the Right" the can make noise every time they sing the phrase "choose the right" ....they actually project more.

 

Rainbow wands (totally stole the idea)....sitting still is hard, so when I found this idea, I thought it was perfect....Picture way toned down rhythmic gymnastics in primary....Works well for "When I Am Baptized", Although movements with the ribbons could be figured out for many different songs....Helps with rhythm and melody.

 

 

1. I like to look for rainbows (arch above head)

 whenever there is rain (squiggle ribbon down)
And ponder on the beauty of (wave beside head)

 an earth made clean again.(big circle in front of body)

2. I know when I am baptized (arch down at feet)

 my wrongs are washed away,(figure eights to each side)
And I can be forgiven (circle at feet)

 and improve myself each day.(slow squiggle up)

Chorus
I want my life to be as clean (figure eights in front)

 as earth right after rain.(big circle in fr5ont of body)
I want to be the best I can (shoot wand in air)

  and live with God again (circle above head)

 

Needs a little find tuning and we need to discuss proper use and when we are done , the wands go immediately under their chairs etc...But well worth the effort to make....

 

Dollarama is my knew best Friend!

 

Wood dowels (10 in a pack) the thinker the better ($1)

 

5 or 6 colours of ribbon (1-1 1/2 inch) ($2 each)

 

Stapler

 

Double-sided tape

 

 

-cut ribbon to two foot lengths

-staple together

-place a 2 inch strip at stapled top of ribbon bunch

-wrap ribbon sticky side in 2 or 3 thimes around dowel

 

I spent $13 and made 30 wands...but have enough ribbon to make 30-50 more.

 

Primary music is SO MUCH FUN!!!

 

 

 

 

My Bad Mother, Top 10

I consider popcorn a vegetable

I haven't sorted laundry since 1998

I don't really care how much artificial food colouring the kids have, unless they stain the carpet

Stay at Home moms make Dinner??? (shhhh, Don't tell Superman)

Heck ya, I yell at my kids....I shut the windows as not to annoy the neighbours, I'm considerate that way.

I will sign blank Band Practice Sheets, in exchange for cleaning the kitchen (sorry Mr K) {a trumpet and a sax, do not make sweet music together, picture geese dying}

I have openly faked illness to avoid band concerts, PAC meetings, student award ceremonies.

I have never cut my kids food into animal shapes, or written love notes on their bananas.

I make the most annoying child of the day, clean my room.

I will totally show up at the school in my pj's,  if my kids get in trouble or forget something, and they KNOW IT!

It's going to be an AWESOME school year! Right kids??

A Burning Question???

A person that means the world to me, recently asked me this question...

"If there is a loving God (Heavenly Father), How do you explain all the suffering in the world? Why do terrible things happen to good, innocent people?"

The question was not asked as a challenge, just a wondering heart??

I wasn't sure how to answer?? In all honesty it's a question I've struggled with? Why did my Mom suffer so much? Why did my Dad's passing have to redefine my definition of true suffering? Hadn't the heartache the first time taught me enough??

I said something to the affect that "I believed there was a special place in Heaven for those who have suffered greatly in this life and that we will all be compensated for our heartache in this life, in the next.....

But over the last few weeks the question has lingered....

I asked Superman...Who with a certain gleam in his eye, said "Why don't you search the scriptures?" (Silly boy ;) Kay Scripture Study is something I've always struggled with...(It keeps me from being translated ;) )

I then asked the missionaries, who quickly flipped open their scriptures (see I'm no dumby)....

But none of the answers had the simplicity I was looking for...

I asked a friend (someone who actually paid attention in Seminary) He gave me a few ideas but a few days later sent me another message and said I should watch this  Mormon Message on Forgiveness...It might help....I had seen it several times before....and wasn't sure it contained the answer.....




"I'm grateful that God allows tragedies and trails to occur in our lives- not because they're easy or because they're desired, but because they help us love."

Tragedies and trials do help us love. LOVE is the simplistic answer I was looking for.

Saying goodbye to one parent with mental illness and another with dementia long before their deaths has taught me much about love.

The tragedies and trials we have faced in no way reflect the magnitude of other families, but I realize our trials and heartache have opened my heart to love in a way, nothing else could have....

I love my husband and children in a much deeper way than I would have....

I do not take time or the people in my life for granted...

I feel a deeper gratitude for the kindness and love shown to my family by others...

I also loved what the man's stake president said....

"There is Jesus's way to resolve problems, to address situations, to handle sorrow, and then there's some other way...."

After my mom's death I was angry, hurt and bitter....I hated her illness and never understood the manner of her death (falling in the nursing home) Why her? Why Me? Why this?? If things had only been different?

I wanted to blame someone...the nurses, the facility, God....

Blame got me nowhere and only added to my heartache and clouded my journey.

It was years later...It was time to let the anger go. For the first time I prayed for my heart to heal. It was so hard to even say the words. Peace did come. I had no idea how much I would need the room in my heart.

Only months later we started and ended the journey with Dad. Again overwhelming heartache but not the blame or anger.

I do not know why ??  I don't ask that question anymore. But I know that the answer to heartache is love.

Sad.... yes of coarse...But I now know to always leave a place for love.