Judge Not My Grief

Alright, this post has been rolling around in my head for a few days, maybe someone should take the key board away from me....I've been trying to talk myself out of the fact that I got my feelings hurt, trying to pretend it didn't matter ....I am super sensitive right now {trust me I know that}, watching a parent die, planning a funeral etc. tends to do that to a person....I think what has surprised me the most, even before my Dad died, is the judgement I've felt.... the fact is we judge each other, even in our grief....we judge each other......

.

One several occasions even before we left for Utah....people questioned why I didn't leave immediately to go be at my Dad's bedside. "You know you're going to regret it." I was told in the hall at church. "If that were my Dad, I'd be there."

{How on earth are these kind of comments helpful}

I instantly felt a need to explain and justify my actions...but was just to incredibly tried to do so....these comments only added to my heartache....

My decision to wait was a deeply personal, heart wrenching one and the only person that needed to understand it was me.

I needed love and support, not judgement.

I was so surprised when I heard the comment again, after returning home...."If it were my parent I would of gone immediately."

Really?!?!

That's nice, but it wasn't your Dad...IT. WAS. MINE.

Years ago, when my Mom passed away, there were several of my friends who lost their mothers around the same time....I was in the hallway at Church when I saw one of my friends having a hard time, In a brief conversation she said to me...."well at least you know what its like" (to lose your mom)....I said, well I know what its like for me to lose my mom, but only you know what its like to lose your mom...

Each persons experience with grief is unique. Even a death (or any trial really) is felt differently by each persons heart.

Loss and grief is not a competition, its a deeply personal journey with God.

Please don't judge my grief (or the way I parent, or keep my house, or the dinner I don't cook, or my laundry mountain or my Superman, you get the point)....

Is it helpful?

Is it kind??

If not, kindly keep it to yourself, and I will do the same.:)