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| I looked like I was attacked by my Grandmother's couch and the lace doily on her coffee table :) |
Holly was in our living room, getting the final fitting finished on her grad dress, when another guest in our home, here for a different purpose, said....
"I can't believe you're not making her make that MORE modest ?!?"
{I felt the hairs on the back on my neck stand up}
I had an audience, so I took a deep breath and tried to choose my words carefully....
"Holly worked long and hard and saved, and paid for every penny of that dress herself...It is her dress and her decision on modesty....We are proud of her and happy to leave that choice up to her."
Our guest tried to explain the use of cardigans and I quickly changed the subject and started my meeting, the real reason we were all there in the first place.....
In all honesty I did feel the inner mother bear in me try to surface, but was surprised the comment put me on the spot, more than I was offended. As I tried to understand my feelings I realized it was not about the standards of modesty....Standards are standards (a basket ball hoop is 10 ft, regardless of which court you are playing on) and something there is no need to, nor do I have the desire to debate here....
But as a parent I have never been able to make a toddler or teenager for that matter, do anything....
As a parent I can teach, guide, help, encourage, lead, walk beside, pursuade, bribe, and even guilt...but I cannot , nor do I have any desire to make them do anything....How can they learn for themselves if I make all their decisions for them?
We are so very proud of her and are very happy we left the decision up to her.
But as a parent I have never been able to make a toddler or teenager for that matter, do anything....
As a parent I can teach, guide, help, encourage, lead, walk beside, pursuade, bribe, and even guilt...but I cannot , nor do I have any desire to make them do anything....How can they learn for themselves if I make all their decisions for them?
We are so very proud of her and are very happy we left the decision up to her.
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| She looks beautiful :) |
I agree Robyn, She looks stunning. The Blue looks amazing and she has got all the lines in the perfect spots. I think that Modesty is a way of life, not necessarily how you dress, but how you act, present yourself, your choice of words, the way you treat people. There could be someone in a very long gown with long sleves, and lace up to her neck and with any wrong actions she could very easily be considered immodest. You tell Holly I think she made an absolutley Beautiful choice on the dress, it fits he perfectly!!! You have done a wonderful job on all your kids, i can see that. Oh and 1 More thing.... did my Grandma give you permission to use her couch for your dress??? Just kidding, I do remember that dress very clearly. You were awesome then and your awesome now. Have fun at the Grad!!! Mine just graduated kindergarten, so i have a long ways to go until I have to worry about dresses and stuff. ( Sam Spiegelberg)
ReplyDeleteIt's a bit annoying when people impose standards where there are none. I haven't seen anything which says exactly how much coverage is considered modest. I applaud your ability not to go absolutely ballistic as I likely would have done (I would've hit the 'eject' button on her seat). I would also challenge your critic to find a grad dress "more modest" than Holly's.
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