Returning to {our} Normal

Yesterday was the first day in weeks, possibly months that I had nothing to do...

 {Well unless you count 7 loads of laundry, getting the twenty bottles of hair products, in the shower, down to three bottles and  scrubbing the bacon grease of the back of the stove, wall and fridge oh, and folding laundry on commercials (daytime tv is so lame)...}

By nothing I mean I didn't have to go any where that required a bra (good thing the kids didn't call from school, eh?) It was actually nice to get the house "mom clean" with out the normal audience of annoyed teenagers. With everybody back at work and school today, my house was mine again and I loved the peace and quiet. Until...

Everyone walks in the door just in time to start dinner....

As we sit down for steak (thanks Superman). I quickly come to sad realization that we are some delightfully twisted combination between Honey-Boo-Boo's family and Laura Inglis family, tilting heavily to the Honey Boo-Boo side.

The first thing that comes out of Dallyn's mouth..."You know Dad if you put in a Urinal, I'd stop peeing on the seats" "You could just learn to aim" Which then lead to a discussion on circumcision...I'm serious...Yes there is something wrong with us...if you figure it out. Let me know...I gave up years ago....

The conversation only went south from there and I quickly reminded the offspring that anything even remotely referring to the "birds and the bees" was no longer aloud to be discussed anywhere but Dairy Queen. "Does anyone want to go to DQ??? for a refresher??" "No mom that's okay"....

When its time to clean up all of my scholars suddenly have copius amounts of home work, until the Superman steps in with "Kitchen Now!" Bless him!?!....

We round off the evening with my epic fail in parenting and a confiscated i-something...I'd tell the whole story, but it only makes me look like an idiot no matter how I try to spin it....Lesson learned. At least it ended quickly with apologies.

Family prayer and bedtime couldn't come quick enough...

This morning brought a fight over shotgun (the front seat, not the weapon) and a sick of school rug rat...sigh, So glad life has really returned to normal.