Juggling Chainsaws, Chasing a Miracle

We can deal with the trials and hard things that come our way....we have for years and always manage to land on our feet, eventually...Cause we're strong and stubborn like that...

We are again, standing at the beginning...or middle...or end, I really don't know, of some really hard things. Despite doing everything in our power to acknowledge,  support and treat an illness not one of you would ever ask for, we have yet to find any (lasting) stability. Frustration, fear or bitterness gets us nowhere. All we can do is keep our feet moving, chasing a hopeful miracle.

We often feel like we are juggling chainsaws or swimming with very hungry sharks.... yeah and I'm not good with power tools or things that can eat me in the ocean, ask Grant.

So we make a lot of mistakes, doing the best we can with our hard things...I'm positive its cause I still can't find the manual called: 'My husband's a superhero and I have too many  a lot of kids and I have anxiety issues I have too much anxiety about to deal with...for Dummies' ...the librarian had a perplexed look when I asked :)

I can deal with my life....

What I really struggle with is other peoples opinion and attitudes of our trials.....and I don't have the energy left for that...

So if I send you a message on FB...it's cause I don't feel like sobbing through our phone conversation and not because I am trying to be rude.

or don't return your calls all together....it may be more than I can handle at the moment.

or don't give you every nitty-gritty detail in timely updates...its probably cause my Superman has asked for privacy and I may not trust you with all the information, this is my family, not a circus side show to be gossiped about.

Even in this crazy whirl wind I know three things...I love my husband, my kids rock and we are watch over every single day.