What's wrong with me????
I didn't post these pictures from Bailey's grad and almost deleted them entirely when I was editing them....
All people are going to think is...."Man she's gotten fat and that lazy eye and her ____ and_____and_____..." I even pictured a particular person saying those exact things I was thinking...and I couldn't being myself to post them....
As a young kid I was different and I knew it, but I never once remember feeling ashamed that I wore those glasses or giant corrective shoes or had a bad poodle perm or took the short bus to school.... I was a complete nerd and often a target but wore my nerd-um with honour. It never bothered me...
So what's wrong with me now? Where did that self confidence go?
It doesn't make a lot of sense...
See I have wonderful friends.
Ones that run marathons. Ones that perform in front of sold out crowds. One's that like motherhood. Ones that can out craft me. Ones that are ultra organized. Ones that are funnier than a redneck comedian.
And I have never felt an ounce of judgement from any of them
It wasn't until yesterday, I kind of put it all together...
One of my kids came to me and said "I know (unnamed sibling) will never tell you this but (unnamed person) says (stuff) to (unnamed sibling) all the time and has for a long time.
The (unnamed person) was the exact person I had pictured in my mind saying identical things about
me the week before while editing pictures.
This made me so sad...
I have never thought those things about someone else, let alone said them. So why was it okay for me to think them about myself now...and even if someone thinks them why should it matter?
Well it doesn't.
This is me.
Any criticisms are a reflection on YOU NOT ME.
AMEN!!!!
ReplyDeleteAnd the person saying such unkind things ought to be ashamed of themselves. I will NEVER understand why anyone thinks it is ok to behave in such a way or that they find pleasure in it. Each of us are uniquely important. As I read your post I kept thinking of two things:
"Today you are you. That is truer than true. There is no one alive that is you're than you. Shout aloud, "I am glad to be what I am Thank goodness I'm not a ham or a clam or a dusty old bottle of gooseberry jam! I am what I am. What a great thing to be. If I say to myself, happy everyday to me!" - Dr. Seuss
Sticks And Stones
by John Bytheway
Sticks and stones can break my bones but names can never hurt me.
but oh the hurt I feel inside when friends I,ve known desert me.
For now I,m left to walk the crowded halls of school alone,
And wonder whats been said today when the whispering is done.
And when I kneel to pray at night I shed a little tear,
And ask for Heavenly Father's love and trust he will be near.
Now if you want to break some bones some sticks and stones will do,
But if you want to break a heart just spread a lie or two.
'Cause sticks and stones may break some bones, but broken bones can mend,
But spread around an evil fib and the hurt may never end.
Robin you always have been and always will be one of the funniest, most talented, compassionate, people I have ever known. You are an amazing sister. I love you!