Just Words.

It totally caught me off guard and has sent me for an (emotional) loop for days...

They were just words. Words meant to show compassion and concern and support, even...So why did I feel like someone had just knocked the wind out of me???

Just the day before we had had a great visit, {our visitor} hadn't seen my superman in months, but it was good to see a friendly face and catch up. 

Totally fluke, I run into {our visitor}the very next afternoon as I am picking up a few things for turkey dinner....

"Hey thanks for the visit yesterday, it meant a lot."

"Oh Robin, I am so worried about him...he is not doing well at all...you can see it in his eyes...it's just devastating...it makes me so sad..."

"Oh but he's come a long way..." I say caught quite off guard.

I bite my lip hard as the pleasantries continue.

I hide my tears until I am alone in the juice aisle.

I must be crazy...

No I'm naïve...

No I am in denial...

That's it denial....Maybe they are right, this is devastating. Maybe things are never going to improve, get better, and I just refuse to see it. It's not hope, it's denial. I am so stupid.... I could not turn my brain off....I have mauled it over and over, for days. Eternally optimistic me felt devastated....

Why had I allowed {their} words to discount and dismiss how far we have come...

You should have seen where we were three months ago.

Okay so maybe we haven't won the war yet...but we have won countless battles over the last three months. Deeply private ones. And you know what, we are still fighting, there has to be something in that, alone.

{They}simply don't know my Superman's spirit like I do. His illness does not diminish his spirit or who he is. That's not denial...that's reality. And we believe in miracles. If can't see it, that's not our problem :)


 Believe in miracles. I have seen so many of them come when every other indication would say that hope was lost. Hope is never lost. If those miracles do not come soon or fully or seemingly at all, remember the Savior’s own anguished example: if the bitter cup does not pass, drink it and be strong, trusting in happier days ahead.⁵


-Like a Broken Vessel, by Jeffrey R. Holland