Just One More

I've tried to write this six or seven times this week and eventually given up. You know the feeling you get when all you can think about is one thing and that thing leaves a pit in your stomach and makes it hard to really focus on anything else... That one thing is completely out of our hands and control now, the ultimate decision is in someone else's hands.

We have done all that we can, as we quietly knew this would be the eventual path...But I don't think I ever thought we would actually get here.

I have prayed and prayed and then prayed some more and ultimately felt "it will all work out"...But the doubt is killing me. We have witnessed so many miracles, tender mercies, blessings already as we have spent the last two and a half years battling Superman's mental health relapse...Is it arrogant to specifically  ask for just one more??? If you can't take the illness away, could you please just _____????

I know we will be ok, regardless of what will come....My heart knows that, I just wish, my brain could turn off the uncertainty, the worry and wonder of okay, what now???

Praying for just one more miracle.....