Housework-Avoiding Pot Holders

Other than walking with the Superman to work and back this morning, I have spent the afternoon totally avoiding my MESSY, MESSY house and making pot holders instead...That's still productive right???

I had batting left from the quilt I just made and the rest of the material are scraps from thrift stores....

Really quite quick to make ...I cut fabric strips 3" x 10" and sewed 5 strips together....the finished size ended up being 10" x 12". Nice and big...maybe I won't burn myself as often,{not likely} :)

*sewing tip buy your thread/ notions at the thrift store...I got a dozen spools of good quality thread for less the $4 and noitions like bias tape and ric-rac are no more than 50 cents*

And amazingly  my house waited for me :) 

My {fill-in-the-blank} Life.

Somebody asked if I was depressed this week ....(they asked only out of kindness) Nope just rather worn out....

{In the last three months we have had our testimonies shaken to the core, dealt with persistent mental illness, happily helped our dear friends in crisis, lived in a house that was for sale, notified that my Dad was in dire circumstances, told my Dad probably wouldn't make the night, packed up our house, moved, unpacked, had the car break down, flown to Utah, watched my Dad die, planned a funeral, said enough goodbyes for a lifetime...not to mention life with five crazy-busy teenagers}

Not depreesed, just tired.

Kay, not going to lie....I am sucking this week, especially in the motherhood department. I'm impatient and cranky and tired. Yesterday was especially hard and my rug rats got the emotional brunt of it...

My sister received our Dad's death certificates in the mail, allowing us to begin to take care of his final affairs. Kelli started with  cancelling Dad's phone number. My parents have had that number since 1966...46 years...I was surprised at wave of sadness that hit me. That was the first phone number I ever learned....I guess losing another parent means many goodbyes.

Then as Kelli read the details of the death certificate much more grief filled reality.....cause of death dehydration....malnutrition....atrophic brain disease. Nothing we didn't already know, but seeing it on paper, an undeniable reality. The time frame for each disease listed....Dad's atrophic brain disease on set + or - 20 years....

Even with my knowledge that there is a life after this and eternal families....Suffering seems so unfair...the fact that our Dad suffered and we could not help him, will take time and prospective to work through....

Luckily I have amazing kids who seem quick to forgive me for being an impatient and cranky matriarch...and seem to remain healthy and happy in spite of eating frozen pizza twice, maybe four times a week....

I just wish grief had a fast forward button.....and our lives had a slow play feature.

Life + Lemons = Lemon Loaf

We are trying this new" waste not, want not" thing (read, we need to stretch our grocery budget)For the next two weeks I am trying to use everything in the fridge, while not having to throw anything  away....I discovered a bag of lemons that needed to used now....so tonight we made lemon loaf.

  

 Aren't they pretty....and my house smells better than a candle shop.

I have had this recipe for years and have no idea were it came from....but it is soooo good.

We quadruple the batch and it just fits in my Kitchenaid. I then have to hide it from the rug rats who are capable of snorkeling through all four loaves in seconds.

Memory Quilt

Look, I finished a project the same week, I started it....

Kelli had gone to California the weekend before Dad's passing to pick up his car and bring back his pictures and other personal effects. She also grabbed about thirty of his favourite sweat shirts and thought we could make some quilts out of them.

Now Kelli's a sewer...I mean she can actually use a machine without the manual and without curse words....me I'm just learning....But I was not to be out crafted by my sister (us competitive?) so when she offered to make my memory quilt for me, I said, no I can do it....

I've never made a quilt before....but I do know how to google.

 

Now google said to interface the t-shirts....I didn't want to look like an idiot at the fabric store so I didn't do it...I should have...interfacing stops it from stretching...

I then made patches to dress the quilt up a bit....I googled simple colouring book pages and then cut the picture out of felt.

Once I finished the top I had no idea where to go from there...I didn't have a quilting frame but found a great tutorial here

All I needed was my laminate floor and painters tape and safety pins....it worked great.

Then I sewed the crap out of it....

It turned out better than I thought, as long as you don't look too close, it looks like I knew what I was doing :)

Any one who knew my Dad well knows why this is funny :)

Judge Not My Grief

Alright, this post has been rolling around in my head for a few days, maybe someone should take the key board away from me....I've been trying to talk myself out of the fact that I got my feelings hurt, trying to pretend it didn't matter ....I am super sensitive right now {trust me I know that}, watching a parent die, planning a funeral etc. tends to do that to a person....I think what has surprised me the most, even before my Dad died, is the judgement I've felt.... the fact is we judge each other, even in our grief....we judge each other......

.

One several occasions even before we left for Utah....people questioned why I didn't leave immediately to go be at my Dad's bedside. "You know you're going to regret it." I was told in the hall at church. "If that were my Dad, I'd be there."

{How on earth are these kind of comments helpful}

I instantly felt a need to explain and justify my actions...but was just to incredibly tried to do so....these comments only added to my heartache....

My decision to wait was a deeply personal, heart wrenching one and the only person that needed to understand it was me.

I needed love and support, not judgement.

I was so surprised when I heard the comment again, after returning home...."If it were my parent I would of gone immediately."

Really?!?!

That's nice, but it wasn't your Dad...IT. WAS. MINE.

Years ago, when my Mom passed away, there were several of my friends who lost their mothers around the same time....I was in the hallway at Church when I saw one of my friends having a hard time, In a brief conversation she said to me...."well at least you know what its like" (to lose your mom)....I said, well I know what its like for me to lose my mom, but only you know what its like to lose your mom...

Each persons experience with grief is unique. Even a death (or any trial really) is felt differently by each persons heart.

Loss and grief is not a competition, its a deeply personal journey with God.

Please don't judge my grief (or the way I parent, or keep my house, or the dinner I don't cook, or my laundry mountain or my Superman, you get the point)....

Is it helpful?

Is it kind??

If not, kindly keep it to yourself, and I will do the same.:)

Confessions of a Crazy Mom

I thought Sundays were supposed to be a day of rest ....

My angelic offspring are driving me CRAZY....Wait, what??? Let me re-phase that...I am crazy, my angels are doing their absolute best in a strategic tag-team effort to see how close their mother{ of the year} can get to the insanity edge, without going over....

My kids are the normal ones and I missed them and their constant commotion, while we were away. But coming back into home life has been a bigger adjustment than I thought.....

In the last hour I've:

Told Alex to get out of the tree and no a trap does not make a safe hammock....

Turned off the hot tub, its been running full tilt for who knows how long, (BC hydro, you're welcome)

Told Dallyn that a two popsicles did not constitute dinner.

Reminded Madison that discussing the dietary properties of corn during dinner is ALWAYS inappropriate.

Screamed at the top of my lungs{parenting genius}, to tell #2, #3 & #5 to stop yelling over who was getting pizza and who was getting chicken for dinner. (we had one frozen pizza and 4 chicken things, cause I can't do math while grocery shopping)

Told the Superman (who was home for a dinner break) to stop chasing Madison with the dart gun {making tater go mental} I mostly didn't care but the windows where open and the neighbours already think we are nuts.

Reminded #1 that it didn't really matter how #5 cut the pizza, especially cause she wasn't eating IT!

Kicked the kids downstairs with their dinners...Because the bickering over the pizza/chicken dilemma was going full steam....All as my second born says..."You're the one who decided to have too many children, Remember?!?!

"It's hard to forget when your screaming at me"....that's what I wanted to say but didn't :) Because for a brief moment I remembered that my children are just as crazy as me my biggest blessing and all this crazy Mom needed is/was a few minutes of peace and quiet....


Tomorrow is always a new day, plus my angels will be in school  (sorry teachers ;)

Temple Squared :)

After my Dad's funeral we had two days left in Utah....Sunday we drove out to Manti, Utah to see the Temple there...a first for both of us...

It was absolutely beautiful!!! For more than an hour we had the temple grounds to ourselves, such a peaceful way to spend the afternoon. The colour of the granite blocks was an amazing coral colour that changed as the sun came out....pictures don't do it justice.

Manti is out in the middle of nowhere, and Utah weather is crazy in the spring, we left Nephi in sun, hit snow in Mt Pleasant and needed our AC in Spanish Fork....put had a great drive.

Monday we spent the day at Temple Square. It has been nearly a decade since our last visit....

The spirit and beauty there hasn't changed.

We found out after we got to Utah, that one of our favourite sister missionaries who had served in our Courtenay ward, had recently moved to SLC with her husband. I was thrilled that Kamaile was able to sing at Dad's funeral. She did such a beautiful job. Being able to spend the day at temple square with her was just plain awesome.....

The Superman would never try to push his loving wife in the reflecting pool, would he????

We then toured the Conference Center....It seats 21,000 and as we entered the auditorium I had to catch my breath, its size is AMAZING!!!

{ We woke up the next morning to find out there had been a fire directly above the pulpit, less than four hours after this picture was taken. There was major water damage right where we were standing.....so weird. Check out news report here }

Our day was the perfect way to end a difficult two weeks in Utah....Peace is possible, even in grief ... Families are forever :)