Waiting For Sunday

Sometimes trials and heartache sneak up, blindsiding us. Others come roaring towards us like a freight train. We know they are coming and can do nothing to get out of the way....My head knew what we were facing, when we got the call in February. My head knew it wasn't going to be good or easy. But my heart, Quietly I prayed things would somehow be different, with my Dad.....

5 weeks ago

And Now.

Now my heart is trying to accept that my Dad's mind and body are losing their battle with dementia and malnutrition. Why must he suffer.

As soon as the Superman and I get moved, we are headed to Utah....probably to say goodbye.

The memories of losing Mom, still vivid...walking out of her nursing home, knowing it was the last time I would see her in this life, took every strength I had...In my heart, begging Heavenly Father to take away her suffering. Four days later she was gone.

  Not once did I ever imagine we would do it again.

I am prepared for the sight of his physical decline...but how do you prepare for the possibility your Dad might not remember who you are. How do you come to terms with saying goodbye, long before you knew you were.

Thinking about it all, brings instant tears. I wish I could fast forward this part of life.

There is a poem that I found when we were losing mom....

Where has my mother gone?
Will it be long before she passes on,
To God's loving arms of release,
Granting us both sweet release.
For wondering and fears.
Will know longer go on
Because I'll know where my mother has gone.

Saying goodbye is important to me, but not at the price of his suffering...I have left with my Heavenly Father, its not up to me. It's up to Him.

I do not know why some must suffer greatly in this life. But I find great comfort in the following quote.....


“Each of us will have our own Fridays—those days when the universe itself seems shattered and the shards of our world lie littered about us in pieces. We all will experience those broken times when it seems we can never be put together again. We will all have our Fridays. But I testify to you in the name of the One who conquered death—Sunday will come. In the darkness of our sorrow, Sunday will come. No matter our desperation, no matter our grief, Sunday will come. In this life or the next, Sunday will come.”
― Joseph B. Wirthlin