Tender Mercies, Tough Choices

The phrase "We need to talk..." has never boded well for me.

It usually means....

A. I'm in trouble.

B. The Superman found out. :)

C. Bad news....bears.

D. All of the above.

We have been without phone and Internet services until yesterday afternoon (our new, old house needed new lines) ....so I was only able to check in with my sister through FB on Holly's phone.

Kelli's message Monday "Call me, Jason is ok but the car is totalled"

Monday was a day of tender mercies....My sisters guitar loving, Denver broncos watching , toddler superhero husband, survived, uninjured and accident by all accounts, he shouldn't have...He was watched over and protected. Tender mercies.

Kelli's message Tuesday..."Call me, we need to talk about Dad."

We need to talk...Tuesday was a day of tough choices.....Kelli had a chat with Dad's doctor....Basically we are not at the beginning of end of life with my Dad, we are at the end. His loss of brain tissue from dementia and further damage from the sodium levels means there will be no improvement in cognition. He is unable to eat or drink enough to sustain life because he is unable to cough or swallow effectively, IV and feeding tubes are not an option because he pulls them out, medications also ineffective. Other issues also complicate his care....As Kelli spoke to the Doctor, the reality of the days and possible weeks ahead became very apparent. It is time to let Dad's body dictate further care. No more interventions. Comfort our only concern now.

We are at peace with these choices. I may or may not have the chance to say goodbye, We leave for Utah in just over a week. But I am at peace with that too.

No one is ever ready to say good bye...but I am grateful for so many things...

A Sister who I love and trust with everything and that we can make these tough decisions together...

An ability to find the tender mercies each day and find joy even in sorrow.

So many friends and family who have reached out and helped lighten our load this year.

My knowledge that death is not the end, that families are eternal and the no heartache is forever.

I am most grateful that we had the opportunity to get my Dad to a safe place, we he will not die alone and that we were able to understand the "why" of the last few very difficult years.