Falling

Some days take a lot of quiet courage to get through...yesterday was one of those days.

I realized it had been several days since I had heard from my Dad, so in the morning I called and left a message on his answering machine. He called me back a few hours later....

Hey Dad how are you?
 "Robin I'm crippled."
What do you mean, Did you have a fall?
"Well yes..."
What did you hurt?
"My body"
Did you hit your head?
"No"

So even with several questions he couldn't tell me any more details...when, why, where, how....His confusion is nothing new, but falling is....

My sister also called him and was able to glean a little more information from him...a slip on the stairs.... and  felt that he was probably sore but not seriously injured...Dad refused to go to the doctor or allow anyone to check on him. Living so far away sucks.

Dad is set to travel to spend Christmas with my sister in a few days. I hope time spent with my sister will give us a better idea of what his needs are and how we might help him.

I never imagined that both our parents would have such difficult journeys as they aged. Alone and lost in a mind that can no longer find joy. The dark loneliness is something I cannot comprehend and simply brings me to tears. My daily prayer is that there will some way he will let us in to help and until then....I pray for the quiet courage I need to keep my heart from breaking.