Around Halloween I started dreading this years Christmas....It had been an uncertain Fall with Superman's continuing health concerns and I was already tired and overwhelmed. November 1 brought the annual glitter covered, commercial-Christmas frenzy that is the bain of anyone who works in retail and brought long hours and days for Super. The kids seemed to have endless commitments. My Father's declining health worried us greatly and no matter what kind of "new" math I tried, there was simply NO money for Christmas. I felt like our family was on the verge of falling apart....
Superman didn't need the added worry of figuring out Christmas, so I talked to the kids in early November and was completely honest with them. Together we came up with the idea of a one-gift Christmas, drawing names, and everyone would have to come with their own money to purchase that gift. Everything else could be homemade. Two Gifts, Christmas Eve pyjamas and Santa Stockings was all I had to take care of.
Surprising unkindness and more health concerns at the end of November brought deep hurt and bigger uncertainty. We were just so lost, Christmas landed on the back burner....
Our first Christmas card....Inside, a $100 bill....exactly the amount I had figured for the kids Christmas pyjamas....
A few days later, boxes and bags of food were left in our Carport and a FB message "we know the last several months have been rough"...I hadn't told anyone how empty our cupboards were....
Last week began, still struggling to find a place for everything we had on our plate and now dealing with the mad puking bug that decided to invade all Kramer rug rats. December sucks (and apparently blows) was all I could think....Monday night it dawned on me, the only thing I got done for Christmas was pyjamas, It also just as quickly dawned on me that our bank account wouldn't support any shopping until Friday, if then honestly. I felt so stuck and just prayed that everything would some how work out.....reassuring Superman that I had everything under control (sometimes, I lie like that).
Wednesday, started like most others, puke :) and then a conversation with my very upset and heart-broken sister...My Dad, who had fallen a week earlier, had just cancelled his non-refundable plane ticket, now refusing to travel to Utah and spend Christmas with her family. He didn't care that his actions had hurt anyone and his confusion and anger was just so worrying and frustrating....Why us? why me? I just cried....
Late that night, a bubble bath, my first moment of peace....knock, knock, knock (can't I get five minutes of peace?) Mom!, WHAT?! "Somebody, just dropped an envelope on our door step?" "Well open it" "Mom there's alot of money it" I just cried...
I quickly got dressed....the card just said Merry Christmas....I counted....exactly the amount I had budgeted to finish on Friday...but I hadn't said anything to anyone?....I just cried and offered a prayer of gratitude....
Thursday, Christmas shopping begun and ended. I was able to find everything we wanted and had planned for with a few dollars to spare, which covered Superman's birthday gift for boxing day....
Christmas Eve our cupboards, under the tree and our hearts were full. As I shared our experiences with my sister in law, she said..."You sure have some amazing people in your life!" Yes we do, yes we do.
Even though we felt lost, our prayers were still heard, our needs had not been over-looked. We had not been forgotten.
President Monson said....... when we keep the spirit of Christmas, we keep the spirit of Christ, for the Christmas spirit is the Christ spirit. It will block out all the distractions around us which can diminish Christmas and swallow up its true meaning."
Words are inadequate to express what I feel in my heart...so I will just say thank you.
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