Superman has done really well lately. These months of stability have taken a half decade to find, and we are grateful, so grateful for however long this gift is ours...
But our gratitude doesn't change our reality. The reality of a life long, unpredictable mental illness and it definitely doesn't change the fact that managing and treating that illness is sobering at best. Most will never know what it's like to sit in a psychiatrist office and have to make the decision to treat psychosis, even though the side effects are a 75 lbs weight gain, with a bunch of other too-difficul-to-spell one
Side effects thrown in for good measure...but that's less life threatening than the psychosis, so you make choice...
Grant's psychiatrist is one of the best. Kind, compassionate and honest. He makes sure we understand all that we have on our plates, no matter how intense or difficult that conversation is...
So there are moments even during stability that this illness feels like the weight of the world on our shoulders...even if it's just for a moment, I find myself blinking back tears and taking a breath or two to catch my own....
But then I remember we've come this far. And then we some how square our shoulders and lift again and simply carry on. Grateful for all those lifting with us and all the wisdom that comes from heavy loads. :) <3
