Saturday, April 2, 2016

Unavailable.

I didn't even realize how tender my heart was until a simple word sent tears I couldn't stop...

It's been so incredibly hard these last few months as I watched my Superman slip deeper and deeper into the abyss of bipolar disorder. Fear and turmoil grip tighter as we search for stability....

For more than a month,  I've gone to Church without him...
He's supposed to be sitting on the stand next to the bishop, but he isn't there.

Sunday was the first time his absence was acknowledged from the pulpit...

We'd like to excuse Brother Kramer today, he is unavailable.

No hurt was meant by these words, an explanation meant to acknowledge and even protect...

He's not unavailable, he's ILL, seriously ILL....Tears rolled down my cheeks as I hid my face and tried to sink into pew.... I heard nothing else that meeting and simply cried, my heart unable to hold all the fear and worry and isolation of the weeks before...my heart simply ached.

If only my sweetheart's suffering were more understood.
















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