Sunday, April 30, 2017

Broken and Blessed

I've known this Sunday was coming for a while... It's been weeks since Grant first talked to our Stake President. I've spent that time trying to convince myself that today wouldn't hurt. I prayed I would keep my composure, that by some miracle my heart wouldn't betray me....

I made it through Superman and I meeting with the Stake Presidency. I made it through the opening hymn as long as I didn't look at my Superman sitting on the stand this last time. I found the courage to look up just as they announced Superman's release from the bishopric. Tears rolled down both our faces....

Grant stood moments later to bear his testimony and in that moment my heart betrayed me. I was sobbing. Grant has wanted nothing more in this last year and a half than to simply serve with a bishop he loves. Time and time again a cruel illness making that simple desire, impossible. Why??????

I listened as my sweet husband bore a valiant, humble testimony of our Heavenly Father's love and the truthfulness of the gospel and I simply sobbed. His spirit and his countenance shining as he stood at that pulpit, his perfect faith undeniable. His illness has robbed him of so many things, but never his testimony.  Tears of sorrow mixed with gratitude.  Seriously heart. Get. It. Together.

I look down at my phone as an email scrolls across my lock screen. The sister sending it a few pews behind me.

For you, Robin....

Elder Jeffrey R. Holland (quoting Vance Havner):

Christ loves broken things
It takes broken clouds to make rain
It takes broken ground to make grain 
It takes broken grain to make bread
It takes broken bread to always remember Him 
It takes broken hearts to come unto Christ.

Thanks my friend. There are blessings in our broken lives.

It took every once of strength and courage to make it through the rest of my responsibilities for  Sunday, tears only a moment away....Grateful for the many added friends attending our ward conference today. Heavenly Father knew just who we would need to make it through today. I will be forever grateful for his tender mercies that show me that even though we don't know why this needed to happen we know we are not alone in this.

Tonight we are still a little broken and wonder why, but know we are so blessed.


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