Sunday, June 16, 2013

Heartache and Answers

I have struggled and struggled the last few weeks...Our family is good at rolling with the punches and adjusting our sails. It's never been a peaceful walk in a meadow around here but I take pride in the  chaos and challenges and our ability to land on our feet. It means we are strong and blessed...But lately I have felt like telling life to BLANK  {pick yer favourite bible swear}off !!!Is that too honest? Seriously...
 
Its not new trials, but a realization that certain trials, aren't going anywhere.
 
At what point have I shed enough tears over trial A? Isn't there a limit on the water works for trial B?
Is a thousand prayers, like enough, cause I am positive its been more?
If I pay like 12% on that tithing, can I earn a free pass, eventually?
 
I have struggled with much grief and discouragement, a private struggle with my own heart...I can't keep doing this! Will things ever feel normal? Will I ever stop worrying? Will the sadness ever not hurt so much? Will we ever be able to catch our breath?
 
******
 
For years our Stake President (regional church leader) has said "keep your feet moving" when challenges, discouragement, worry come your way....keep your feet moving...For years that has been stuck in my head. Last week as I was struggled to find answers and fixes and peace and after a particularly long prayer, in my minds eye I could see President VH at the pulpit.
"Keep your feet moving"
 
And these are the thoughts that followed...
Don't stop doing the good things, just because it got a little harder, keep your feet moving. You are already headed in the right direction.
 
The answers to your troubles don't come sitting surfing Pinterest, drowning my sorrows in Dr Pepper, but while I'm  working or serving or visiting with friends, so keep your feet moving, now is not the time to sit stuck in sorrow.
 
When your heart is heavy, reach out to someone who is hurting more and show them some kindness, keep your feet moving, helping others.
 
*****
 
I had a beautiful experience this week...
 
It was a difficult, difficult week and my heart was aching...But while visiting with a dear friend I realised some ones heart was aching more than mine....what can I do?
 
Make a quilt!
but that won't fix the heart ache, hers or mine...a dozen thoughts went through my mind...but the thought would leave my mind...so I got busy...
 
What a beautiful distraction, my worries were far from my mind as I cut and pieced and sewed...Prayers for my dear friend took their place...
 
 
 
 
 
Its not that the quilt answers anything but it is a reminder that we are not alone in our heart ache....
My "quilt" today...
A message from a dear friend, saying that he knew how hard father's day was for my sister and I and was thinking about us....
 
So I will keep my feet moving, one "quilt" at a time and hopefully the answers will come. :)

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