Christmas Kindness Continued

So the Christmas kindness continues...It's been a little rough this week as some personal challenges have weighed heavily on us...but focusing on others has been an AWESOME distraction...I smell a family tradition that will stick here...Wish we would have started this years before....

7. Made stockings for the Sister Missionaries

8.Sparkling Cider for friends
http://networkedblogs.com/FKXfT

the picture won't let me post....but these guys teach all of our kids in either Seminary or YW and I know my rug rats can drive anyone to drink ;)




9. Made a laminated nativity set for friends.
my kids are too young for this...so I found kids who would love it.

10. Baby Quilts

Two quilts one mom has impeccable taste in little boy names and the other mom brought her precious princess home from NICU last week (A...its in the mail tomorrow, I promise this time :))

11. Took flowers to a friends. (love, love, love these guys, like crazy ;))

12. Smiled and said Merry Christmas to every cashier/sales person I could.
kay, I admit, a slight cop out, but I am always so sad when I see how cranky people are to retail workers, especially at Christmas time.


13. Sent a sincere email, thanking my amazing cousin and his family

14. 10 handmade bags for Grants management team at work.

 

 

15. Paid for the people behind us in the drive-thru at Dairy Queen.

 

 

we ended up having to pull over to wait for our order , so the person behind us, came up and thanked us profusely..."Thanks so awesome, I'll pay it forward...I promise..." Her reaction made us both cry...

 

Just over a week to go...should be awesome.



Fast Food Circus

So we took the rug rats to Mc Donald's for dinner tonight, cause like yeah,starving your children is highly frowned upon, especially during the holidays :) Please don't judge me. It was a step up from the cereal they had last night and the tater-tots (just tater-tots) I think they had the night before. :)

We didn`t even have our stater child with us and the person taking our order still gave us `that look`....Our superman had to walk away as each rug rat meticulously special ordered their Mc-whatever. No pickles, add bacon, no mustard.....
As Grant and I finish our marathon order ....Madison and Dallyn come back up to the til, to announce that Dallyn had somehow spilt his ENTIRE coke (no he isn`t supposed to get coke) all over the table (something about Madison tripping him...)

We return to our table to discover instead of cleaning up the mess, my brilliant offspring had simply moved tables....`They have people for that`M and D say in unison....You made the mess, you clean it up, both of you...47 napkins later....

We scarf down dinner with only a few `leave each other alone, don`t steal her fries`

Then out of the corner of my eye I see Dallyn drop his last chicken nugget on the floor....

He gets a twinkle in his eye as I say `Don`t you dare eat that!``...

He blows on it and pops it in his mouth, quicker than I can knock it out of his hand...and then savours every morsel, as I fight my ever-present gag reflex....What are you three !!!!

Boys are so gross...

Then three minutes later Dallyn is sitting on Madison`s knee and some how falls off and smacks his head on the chair...Now man child is fighting back tears....

OH MY HECK!!!!

I thought we had out grown these, fast food gross outs, freak-outs, like ten years ago....

Nope, apparently not....

It was time to go, before the asked us too.

On the way home, the rug rats discovered the new van has voice activation and all were yelling out (inapporperate) anatomy parts, to see what happens...oh my little angels

And they wonder why, we leave them at home :)

Anger (Well Yes I Is)

This last week....

Superman: surprised me with the news that Grandma will be here for Christmas....

-worked more than sixty hours getting ready for the Super centre grand opening....

-emceed the grand opening

and....

Some how, even though we volunteered for nothing, our family ended up putting in hours of service for a Christmas dinner. It's tough when original plans fall through. Our teenagers were less then impressed (they weren't the only ones really)...

Well kids think of all the celestial points* you're getting???

"Not if you could read my thoughts. Mom" Alex says through clinched teeth..... :) :):)
(*no such thing...A story only Grant could explain...something about home teaching Bro. B as a teenager)

Then Sunday morning Superman's cape fell off...he, exhausted didn't make it to Church.... But I was less than understanding....I was angry



Rewind....

Friday, I spent a day visiting with a dear friend. Something my weary soul needed more than I realized. She's one person, that sees right through my happy crafts and slightly inappropriate humour and seems to know how sad and overwhelmed my heart is right now. She knows everything about me and my crazy family and loves us anyways, weird (my biggest fear is that if people really knew us/our heart aches, they would leave)....For the first time I acknowledged to her how much I was still grieving and how much I am still overwhelmed by a husbands illness and my crazy life....no explaining, no judgement....She just heard me and made me laugh and pointed out my blessings....I am thankful every day for the wonderful friends like her.

Back to Sunday....

Have you every found yourself in a place where EVERYTHING makes you angry??? It's something someone said at Church, the kids didn't do the dishes, your son's been picked on at school...on and on and on...   For me its been building for weeks and months. Sure I have plenty of justifiable reasons...heck its the stage of grief I'm in (if you believe in charts)...But Sunday my anger erupted...What started out as a discussion about, I don't even remember, turned into a screaming match and then my Superman said something...

"Robin, you are just so angry!!!"

"Of course I am!!!!

"But Robin you are angry at the WRONG things and people."

I so did not want to hear what he had to say, heck, he's up at the top of my list.....

"It's not Sister so and so at Church or the kids or even me ..."

"Just admit it...you hate that your Dad died... heck you still hate the fact that your mom died the way she did! You are even angry that I'm sick?!?" "That's what you're really angry about...Stop finding everything else to blame the anger on and deal with what you are ACTUALLY angry about....."

OUCH!!! Oh. No. He. Didn't!!!!

My brain was ready to articulate at the top of my lungs how wrong he was, but...I went into the ugly cry. There was truth in what he had to say and my heart heard it.... {Superman redeemed himself slightly, as he hugged me and just let me cry}

Anger...damn you.

There is no magical switch...I'm still angry but its really the grief, loss and heartache and not that my kids destroyed the kitchen to make sugar cookies (sigh)...

I will be forever grateful for friends that listen, a slightly crazy super hero husband that still knows and loves me best and for do-overs every day....

Random Acts of Christmas....

Last Christmas we focused on Gratitude and had all the kids fill a box with all the things we were grateful for...(Well don't we just sound like the perfect family)...

This Christmas We (I) decided we should focus our Christmas on others. I've been  feeling pretty down, sad, unexcited for Christmas this year and desperately needed to focus my thoughts and feelings elsewhere...So, here's what we came up with.  We are calling it our " random acts of kindness Christmas". Each day in December we are thinking of something we can do for someone. Nothing huge or major or expensive, just something to let someone else know they are loved...(again, with the perfect family, if people only knew (eye roll))

So far here is what we've done:

1. Gave a family the opportunity to go skating on us.

2. Delivered chocolates to our friends/neighbours.

3. Dropped off the Reindeer version of  a "Don't Eat Pete" game to a family of adorable little girls.

4. Gave a hand made Christmas ornament to an elderly neighbour.

5. Surprised someone on their birthday with a cupcake and a homemade gift.

6. And today the kids  taped baggies with change inside,  to bus stops with a note that says Merry Christmas, ride the bus on us...

 

Our lives are still as crazy as ever (why am I always surprised?)...but it has been great to have something to focus on.... And fun to see how creative my kids are...I wonder what we'll do tomorrow???

 

We will keep you posted.

 

 

 

Math Miracles :)

I have to admit I rolled my eyes, when I saw another email from my Calculus genius' teacher yesterday (I know bad parent)

To my pleasant surprise....


Hi,

I just wanted to say how pleased I am with(Calculus genius's ) math mark since she has been doing her practice. She has been using her marine bio class to get some of the assignments done. This new focus has really been reflected in her recent test and quizzes which have averaged at a B.


Well I'll be...she can be taught ;) 37% to B's (a miracle for sure)


I can take no credit here, we didn't even punish her other than a "you-know-you-can-do-better-you-have-to-do-the-work-to-pass-the-class" lecture. I guess in non-life-threatening situations I am a let them figure it out for themselves and reap the rewards or consequences.... kind of parent.

 My offspring finally decided to just do the work.

In this case my lazy parenting worked out. :)

{Just so you know I am so not the kind of parent I thought I'd be. When they were toddlers, I thought I'd be an organized, overly-involved, doting mother of teenagers...But life and my kids quickly taught me that was not the kind of parent I was or they needed}

Way to go my little calculus genius !!!!

Going Thru The Motions

I swore I was going to take this week off from Church ... I didn't really feel I had it in me to go. It's been a really difficult couple of days as I've watched my Superman struggle for stability in the midst of disappointment. He is only human, to most this disappointment would be a normal bump in the road.... no big deal.

But for him, it sent him spiraling down..He is so so hard on himself.....Only with years of experiences have I come to understand how quickly things can change for him, we can go from okay to life-threatening in hours. The worry (especially for me )is exhausting...We know what  works to stabilize him, and get help quickly,  but there is always the thought, what if this doesn`t work and we end up in full relapse again....


I spent Thursday and Friday just praying and going through the motions...I wish I could scream it from the roof top, Hey we're not ok over here...But instead I just told people we were fine, ignored the phone, told the home teachers, we were busy, cancelled anything I could and tried to pretend I didn't hate the power of an illness....

 For me, when things are rough, even the slightest negative critique or criticism of how I handle my Superman or family or personal life can feel ten fold and I just didn't want to pretend or add to my burden...so I just wasn't going today...


Well, guilt won out this morning...plus I would miss my awesome friends (yes I'm still a teenager)...AND it was testimony meeting and that NEVER disappoints in our Ward`:) Yes I`m going to hell for that statement and somehow I am just fine with that....

I knew it was going to be an AWESOME day (I`m serious) the minute a nameless sister, whose mission it is to get me to crack up while conducting, succeed in the first line of the opening hymn...a new record...

And no testimony meeting did not disappoint....


Don't get your knickers in a twist (anything British always makes me chuckle) this sister had a wonderful point about the up coming Christmas season, and not getting too stressed out . This really applies to me too, especially after this week.

Flying and drinking, never ever mix. (okay, not sure the explanation here...I had a hard time paying attention to the rest...)


The minute I get comfortable the Lord moves me to where I need to GROW. (This was said by a visitor today and really struck a chord with me, so so true)

See, Superman I actually listen, sometimes ;)




So I was still very much, going through the motions today and trying to do the best... I was surprised that I still got something out of Church....I felt loved by my friends (even without them knowing my burden) I felt a quiet sense of courage to keep trying and moving forward (even though, just give up was in my mind for days)

 And today....That was enough for me

Over Movember

Movember (men growing moustaches to raise money for male cancers)....I think Grant saw it as an excuse to be lazy .... I forgot how quickly Superman can turn into my mountain man ....

 

He decided on the full beard, cause somebody told him he looked like a {some kind of} star, with just moustache ...I think he looked dashing, but he thought all the gray just made him look old (we are old, well according to our children)...

 

So Saturday morning off with the beard ....Farewell my mountain man.'til next movember :)