Dallyn- Christmas 2008- Port AlberniI am so grateful for my good husband and the last 17 years we have shared. I am always humbled when I stop to think what we have overcome......Friends, family & faith without these things we would be lost.
The Sunday before last Christmas I was asked to speak in sacrament meeting....after wrestling with what to say I felt it was appropriate to share one of our most difficult periods in our family and how the kindness of others helped us through. The following is a portion of what I shared.....
Not a year has gone by without our lives being touched by the kindness of others. But as I have pondered over our many experiences, it was a Christmas nearly a decade ago that wouldn’t leave my mind. It is only with the years of perspective that I have come to know that it is in our greatest trials we can learn the most about ourselves and the infinante love our savour has for us.
In the summer of 1998, Grant and I bought our first home in the tiny farming town of Raymond, Alberta. Not because we really wanted to live there but more, it was a home we could afford. We were expecting our fourth daughter and would soon out grow apartment living. We were excited to have a place all our own and settled quickly into easy-going country life style. Little did we know the blessings that would come and the challenges we would face over the next five years.
Alexandra was born in November 1998 and just four months later we discovered we were expecting again. Big families were common place there, but the thought of having five under the age of six was to say the least overwhelming. We did however recognize that each child was a blessing and gratefully anticipated his or her arrival.
Life with our growing family was crazy but good. Grant was working construction with his Uncle and I was at home trying to end the day with the same number of kids that I had started with. ..
The morning of November 10, 1999 started like any other...Grant rushing out the door to work and I, six months pregnant, was attempting to clean up after 4 busy toddlers and counting down the hours until Grant came home to rescue me again. Little did we know at the time that day was the beginning of a journey that would forever change our lives, soften our hearts and teach us the true meaning of compassion , faith, love, and humility.
Just minutes after starting work that morning Grant was injured in a fall. Following a few hours in the emergency room Grant was sent home to recover with what was thought to be a severely sprained shoulder. Grant’s recovery was slow but I was grateful to have his help for the next couple of months while he was unable to work.
Just weeks after we welcomed Dallyn into the family Grant’s injury seemed to be getting worse instead of better. His pain was uncontrollable even on heavy narcotics and no one could explain why. This pain had begun to control every aspect of our lives and had changed my once patient kind husband into a man I barely recognized. Nearly six months after his original injury it was finally discovered that Grant had fractured is back in the fall. We now understood why he had not recovered but, the emotional and physical damaged had been done.
Grant was broken. Our family was broken. We were now in a place we never imagined we would be. I was bitter and angry. We had not done anything to deserve where we were and I had begun to feel Heavenly Father had forgotten us. As Christmas of 2000 was nearing we were at the lowest point possible. Because of Grant’s recent hospitalization we had to cancel plans to spend Christmas on the Island with Grant’s parents. We were heartbroken.
For the sake of the kids we set up the tree and decorated the house. But at the time I would have given anything to just push fast forward to another time and place. For months we had put on the brave front and few people were aware of the true nature of our struggles.
We did not know it at the time but this was the Christmas that would change everything.
It started in early December with cookies left on our front door step. A small gesture but, that day, I knew someone had not forgotten us. Over the next two weeks only a night or two would go by without a knock on the door and some small token was left usually in secret.
Then 12 days before Christmas the gifts came nightly, thoughtful things for our children and for us. By now Holly then six started asking what was going on. Even I was amazed at how each gift touched our hearts and brought the Spirit into our home. Then came the night boxes and boxes of food came, filling all our cupboards and then some. I was truly humble by the generosity of our ward and neighbours. But they were not through yet. The next night came a TV sized box of gifts, beautifully wrapped and labelled for each family member. I can still see the magic in my girls eyes, when they placed each gift under the tree.
Then three days before Christmas the white envelope came. Inside a cute Christmas card (which I have to this day.) hand addressed to all of us was a large amount of cash. The amount was exactly what we needed to cover our remaining bills for the month and gave us a financial peace of mind we had not felt for months. Our hearts were full and truly humbled.
Christmas Eve was magical as we put the kids into bed in their brand new pyjamas with humbled anticipation what the morning would bring. That night as Grant and I reflected on the past few weeks and there was no doubt in our minds that we where loved. Heavenly father had not forgotten us. He was aware of our heartache, our pains and our specific trial. It was through our neighbours and friends that He helped fill our needs.
Our Christmas surprises were not through yet. Early afternoon on Christmas Eve, Grant’s parents called from Port Alberni to wish us an early Merry Christmas and said they would phone again in the morning. Christmas morning, just as we began to open our gifts, a familiar truck pulled in our driveway and before Grant and I could truly comprehend who it was, one of the children yelled “Grandma and Grandpa are here!” By now tears freely flowed as we ran to greet them. We discovered later that after speaking to us Grant’s Dad said to his Mom “Christmas isn’t Christmas without the kids. We are leaving in 15 minutes.” Grant’s parents caught the last ferry off the Island and drove all night to spend Christmas with us. What a truly joyful Christmas it was.
In D&C 81: 5, We read:
Wherefore, be faithful; stand in the office which I have appointed unto you;
Our trials were not yet over. Our road to recovery would last three more years but because of inspired church leaders, friends and neighbours our heavy hearts were made lighter. We had friends who were willing to walk beside us as we continued our journey. Although I would not want to experience these things again I would not trade the lessons I’ve learned for anything. Our marriage is stronger, our children are stronger and our family is stronger. We are better people because of it.
I doubt that those “Secret Santa’s” that lifted our hearts nearly a decade ago understood at the time that our family would forever be changed by their simple acts of service. We never know what far reaching affects a simple plate of cookies or a kind phone call can make in the lives of those we serve.
Life is good.... even with its challanges.
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