"I feel like I've admitted him to HELL, Robin" Kelli tells me after the family/hospital meeting to determine our Dad's future care, this afternoon.
Skilled nursing care in the secured memory care unit, our only option, he didn't qualify for assisted living.
Severe dementia and malnutrition, have left him completely dependent on others for even his basic care now.
"Man I wish he was in Canada, Mom was in the Hilton compared to this place, Robin"
The US health care system is such a stark contrast to our Universal system here. With Mom we never had to contend with Insurance companies and paperwork. When she needed the care, it was there, the financial burden never crossed our minds, her care was covered completely.
Such is not the case for my Dad....
Even with the understanding, that he will be living in better conditions in the nursing home than he has chosen for himself in California, my heart is sick over it.
A mind lost, dignity gone.
There is not even a glimpse of the man he once was. How will they love and respect my Dad when all they will see is complete dependence, anger, confusion and frustration.
How will they know....
My Dad:
is so funny
can conduct a symphony
can shoot a fly out of mid air with a rubber band
loves converse high-tops and brightly coloured glasses
loves to ski
taught thousands of students to love music over his nearly forty year teaching career
would say often "now the Church isn't for me but, you take my Grand kids don't you?"
ended every single phone call my whole life with "I Love you too, Robin!"
They don't know that, but we will always remember. Oh how I wish things could be different.
I'm so sorry Dad.
Robin
ReplyDeleteI'm sorry to hear of this situation. I just had an idea as I read it.
Call the hospital/facility and ask them to write it in/on his chart. The nurses or care providers will read it and then be able to see him or know who he is beyond what they are able to see now. Just an idea.