A Little Catch Up (not the condiment) :)

Life has been CRAZY!!!! and I've been a little behind in the blogging department recently...

Here's what this lazy  mother didn't blog about.....

December/January Catch-UP

Superman had a birthday...the last of his thirties.{He doesn't look a day over 39}

Our starter child became an ADULT. {I have NO idea how to parent these CREATURES}

Starter child got a great promotion at work. {McAwesome :) }

We survived TWO in law visits in less than two weeks.{first time house was clean, second it was NOT}

Starter child was employee of the year for 2012. {McWOW!}

Resident artist got a job. {Welcome to Wal-Mart}

We will be putting our dentists Grandchildren through college.{dentist, filling out passport forms, grocery shopping and laundry...times when I realize I have TOO MANY offspring}

Our resident artist finished High School a semester early. {For a kid who needed learning assistance all the way through elementary...This. Is. Amazing!}

Madison PASSED pre-calculus.{She can be taught}

Alex and Holly have perfected there skills on Just Dance 4 {Instead of doing laundry}

And Dallyn...Dallyn this morning upon seeing me put TAMPONS in my purse says "Well, that explains everything!!!" complete with eye roll and sigh. {Gotta love that boy :)}


Just praying life settles down soon....Today we are off to our favourite medical professional with our fingers and toes crossed, praying for a little (read a lot) of inspiration on what the heck to try next...At least its never boring around here :)

A Tough One

Last week started out perfectly, I'm serious. We spent a lovely two days away and reflected on how blessed we are, and we really are blessed.

Well two days later I am giving my super hero the choice of calling his doctor immediately or taking his butt to the crisis nurse, as I am walking Madison out the door for (minor) dental surgery.

My mind is trying to say empathetic but its hard not to take the firestorm of a mentally ill spouse, personally.

I'm sitting in the dentist office, when my Superman texts: "What's the DR's bleep number". The fact that I have the number programmed in my phone, is another "only now it's funny" story for another day. I text back the number with a very insincere :).

I then text our friend and ask him stop by that evening to give Grant a blessing. I have no idea what else to do.

I am exhausted and just want to cry but its a little had to do in a dentists office.

When my phone beeps again I don't even want to look at it.

"I called him are you happy"

"Thanks sweetheart" the fact that I wanted to wring his neck was not apparent in a text, Which is a very good thing.

DR figures: The old med Grant had stopped a week before had not left his system (my superhero's liver is so special.) So the new med he had just started was essentially double dosing him. We weren't seeing illness we were seeing a double dose of the side effects that made him have to stop the old med.

 SCARY for both of us.

Three awful days and even with all of our faith, understanding and love this one was a really tough one. Its so hard to not feel like we are just meant to endure life and never enjoy it.

Our friends have been so kind this week. But I have had more than one aquaintance this week tell me that I am some kind of superhero for "putting" up with this. Well meaning (maybe not) but painful words. I don't need pity or rewards or praise.

I have watched a humble man battle a devstating illness for more than a decade, he has had countless times when he could  have given up (nobody would have blamed him) and let the illness dictate and devistate his life. But he is the strongest man I know and he hasn't given up yet.

And neither will I.

Small and simple things made today a good day,  hope enough to keep trying.

Five Minute (Parenting) Fail

It was such a calm, quiet day. I had cleaned the house, not the mother in law treatment, but if my visiting teachers popped by I could at least open the door and invite them in without an obstacle course.

 I had put dinner in the crock pot, just chicken tacos, but at least it wasn't a frozen pizza :)

And I had spent the next several hours writing while listening to some good tunes......

Holly's car pulls in the drive way and seconds later my house is full of screaming teenagers, peace and quiet GONE!

Now I suck at parenting, that's not a secret. But some moments even I stoop to a new life time low...

I wasn't supposed to be picked up until 5!!!!

Next time I'll just leave your children on the side of the road.

You can't kick me out of the car!

Your not aloud to Punch me.

You now, in my head I had every intention of calmly trying to sort this out and settle things down, but what came out of my mouth was "What the h@#$% is wrong with you people!!!"

Not my most educated parental move.

My angels apparently considered that an invitation and now instead of 4 screaming maniacs there were 5.

Here is what I could discern from the hollering:

Dallyn was picked up an hour early from a play date, (I know you don't call it that but when you act like a 5 year old???)  because of a miss communication with Starter child and was now never going to get his project done.

In trying to (not so calmly) explain the miss communication with starter child, Starter child thinks I am attacking her and I am met with a barrage of complaints and ingratitude's (can you tell we are both Adults?)

An unnamed child comes in the door, My puzzled look is met with "Your daughter kicked me out of the car!"

Yeah cause you were punching your brother!!!! But you're not the parent. You can't do that in my car. Now unnamed and starter are in a full on screaming match, While Dallyn is trying to still explain the terrible injustice of being picked up early.....

I scream ENOUGH!!! just as I notice Superman coming in the front door.

Great timing sweet heart.He never hears the start of it, sigh.

What the H@#$ is going on! (at least I'm not the only one who said H@#$)

"Family meeting NOW!" all the offending parties not so willingly go to the living room...

Note to self: Family meetings are INEFFECTIVE if everyone is still yelling :)

A lecture is launched on the respect of parents, siblings and family...In other words "How. Dare. You. Behave. Like. This!!! Within seconds Starter storms out ,followed close behind by our resident artist....The only ones left were Man child who was still muttering on about his great injustice and sweet Alex who literally hadn't said a word since arriving in the door.

Well wasn't that effective, I say to my sweet Superman. Who just shook his head.

It had been 4minutes and 47 seconds since my sweet darlings had walked in the door.

Parenting Fail #578042...there is beauty all around, when NO ONE is home. :)

(apologies were made when everybody had calmed down, just in case we had lost that perfect family status ;))

Foggy Retreat

Superman and I skipped out of Church after Sacrament meeting on Sunday...I know we're going to heck, (see y'all there)and I`m ok with it, but he and I had just couldn't keep our Sunday faces going a second longer. We weren`t sad or upset in fact we were relieved and happy. And knew without a doubt that we had made the right decision(about the calling, not leaving early) and were pleased with who was called into the bishopric. A great man with an great family. All was well and exactly where it needed to be.

Grant and I were just exhausted in a way no one else needed to understand. So we went home and packed.

We had made reservations several days before for Dolphin`s Resort, just north of Campbell River and about 45 minutes from our home for Sunday night. We knew we needed a chance to decompress and take a deep breath and friends had said this place was awesome.

They were RIGHT, our own cabin over-looking Discovery Passage, wood burning stove and hot tub. Quaint and quiet and perfect.

Something about the cold sea air, the fog rolling in thick and listening to he fog horns from the Quadra Island ferry and lighthouse in front of a roaring fire, made for a perfect night. So relaxing.

 our cabin

 

our view

the beach 

our fire.

 

 

 

The food at the resort was AMAZING! .... but this is the best thing I've ever had, anywhere, seriously....

Baked Feta

baked macedonia feta cheese, roasted garilc, sundried tomato and fire roasted pepper dip, balsamic vinaigrette, toasted pine nuts & black olive tapenade, crusty olive loaf for dipping.

So, so, GOOD!!!

 

We slept in had breakfast in the dining room and decided to head to Quadra Island in spite of the thick fog...Note to self: wait til it's clear next

time.
It was just sooo foggy! 

 

 This is Rebecca's spit

 

me sporting me toque, it was just a degree or two above freezing

 

and the light house.

and yes the fog horn was blaring so we didn't say long....

 

of course the fog started to lift as the ferry pulled away from dock :)

 

 

So glad to have some time away.

Man I love my Superman :) and we even came home to a perfectly clean house. (they're probably hiding something ;) But I'll take it :)

 

 

 

Released.

Grant was released today from the Bishopric...A release Grant asked for and we knew was coming.

I listen with tears streaming down my cheeks as Grant talked to our Stake President on the phone several weeks ago. My heart broke as I heard him explain that his bipolar was in relapse and not responding to meds or treatment and that he was no longer able to serve in a calling he loved because of health concerns....Our stake president and friend was so kind and understanding  as he and Grant came to the decision that the calling was not a burden he needed to carry for now, instead focusing on health and healing.

My heart aches.This illness has cost my Superman such a high price. So many things have had to change over the last eighteen months since the  full blown relapse of mental illness came, just weeks after one Bishop was released and another called.  Its hard to comprehend why healing has not come in the way we have desired or prayed for. But that is not for us to figure out. I am just grateful for the three years he has been able to serve. And that a new family will now experience the blessings of this calling too.

Bishopric has been a wonderful blessing for Grant and our family. Lessons and friendships we will always cherish. I have seen countless times Grant reaching beyond his own strength to help another, finding words to comfort and teach that were not his own. I have watched as time and schedules always seemed to work out. The tender mercies of the calling never ceased to amaze us.

Maybe it's illness or maybe just life but Grant has always struggled with feelings of self worth and what I will cherish the most from these last three years is.....

Because Grant felt a great love for others and those he served with and he could feel our Heavenly Father's love for them, he began to really believe that his Heavenly Father loved him too and that he was worthy of that love. That transformation is a miracle.

Thank you Andreas and Michelle, Manfred and Ruby, Brian and Christine, Brad and Loni, Ron and Maggie we love you and your friendship and understanding mean the world to us especially as we have battled a difficult illness.You all have been our angels.

Calling change but friendships endure.

We are unsure what the future will hold but we will face it with the same courage, strength and hope that has carried us this far. Undaunted, with a knowledge that we are loved and we do not walk this journey alone.

Plus the kids are already fighting over who gets to sit next to Dad now....life simply move on and we are okay with that :).

Word :)

It's been a wacko week....so a thought a word game was in order :) (that's ok it doesn't make any sense to me either)

 Match the word of the day to day of the week it belongs.....

1. ALFRESCO

2. HYPOGLYCEMIA

3. UNENTHUSIASTIC

4. GYNECOLOGY

5. UNA BUENA COCINERA

6. NEUROTRANSMITTERS

7. ABIDE (#4 definition :))



A Krazy Kramer Week In Review


Saturday: Farm Therapy (a little dirtier, but way less expensive than conventional therapy.) also known as how to avoid your teenagers.


Sunday: In Laws return (that's enough about that)


Monday: Made dinner 'cause in laws were still here (yay me)


Tuesday: Board to tears, waiting for Alex and Man child to get the fangs scrubbed; In laws leave; a friends phone call came just when I was at my breaking point.


Wednesday: Dallyn should become a MIDWIFE according to a careers test he took at school (of course I won't blog about that :)) HaHaHa 




Thursday:emergency visit with the psyciatrist (no I can't spell) Just need to tweak Super's super powers, first patient on a new med. This should be fun :) ; less than stellar moment parenting the starter child, note to self: wait til morning, yer cra cra when you're tired :)

Friday: Low blood sugar and crappy service make for a very cranky Robin, All I want is my Beef Dip, why is that so wrong?!




S 1; S 7; M 5; T 3; W 4; T 6; F 2

Honesty's Risk is Judgement

I desperately want to blog about something funny...funny is so much easier to share than hurt. There is funny in my life, lots of it. Grandpa Bruce said something to Dallyn to night that made me fall out of my chair, really. But it's my father in law and of course it cannot be repeated in public...But I am still laughing, appropriate or not I love that side of him.

And oh yeah i need to apologize profusely for spraying a mouthful of lemonade all over our rockin' friends in Boston Pizza the other night. It. was. hilarious. and apparently can't hold my lemon flavoured beverages. In my defense what my friend said was dang funny and again unrepeatable and she kinda maybe deserved it ;) Having to ask for extra napkins was slightly embarrassing I must admit.

But the honest answer is a tough one right now. Truth be told Superman's illness is not cooperating no mater what we throw at it right now and witnessing the battle is heartbreaking, there have been many private tears and tough decisions because of it. I had someone actually say they were surprised our marriage survives this over again and over again. Well our marriage is not the problem, its the illness that disappoints us, not each other.

When things are really unstable like this its hard to focus on anything else. I want to just climb in a cocoon and say wake me up when the sun is shining again. Its hard to let people in to help. To admit how hard it really is for both of us. Honesty's risk is judgement. We have nothing left for judgement. But I'm tired and at my breaking point.

I have been more honest in the last week than I have in years, This. is. so. hard. My honesty has been met with empathy and love for the Superman and me. The worry is still there and there will be some long weeks ahead but there is a glimmer of hope and that's all we need to keep trying. We have been so blessed by the friends in our lives. they really are our angels. Thank you my friends and please keep my Superman in your prayers.

And lets hope the kids do something hilarious at the dinner table tomorrow, cause that's what y'all really want to read about know isn't it. :)