Friday, August 20, 2010

I Will Not Self Destruct Entering a Nursing Home...

Serving in Relief Society is a huge blessing to me and my family but I have learned quickly that our Church callings often bring us out of our comfort zones. There are many things I have done in the last several years that I would have never done or learned to do on my own. Coordinate a table centerpiece to correspond with a monthly theme(Sisters here think its quite funny that in a big ward we lived in their was a "table centerpiece coordinator" and seriously she was awesome at it)....Assemble a hanging basket out of chicken wire & burlap using only pliers...Became computer literate by doing my Family History work...Understand the fine workings of my garden composter, not that I use it, but at least I understand it....

Monday, when the other counsellor in the presidency asked me to set up appointments for our Presidency Visits this week I didn't mind. But when she listed off the Sisters names, my heart sank. "Oh no, not the sisters in the Nursing Home" I thought.

I know that sounds terrible...but I have not set foot in a nursing home in 6 and a half years, not since my mom died. Not that I haven't tried, we took the kids trick or treating, at a facility, in Port Alberni a few years ago. I made it past the double doors and turned around leaving Grant with the kids. Something about the environment and the institutional smell instantly brought back the guilt and the vivid memories of my mom dying alone in a similar place...

I almost bailed on Sister Creaser this week, thinking of various "flu-like" symptoms I might suddenly acquire. After a few minutes of talking myself into it I picked up the phone and made the necessary arrangements. Things were set for this morning, but all week I wondered if I could do it. I was definitely going out of a sense of duty, but not desire.

As we entered the first Sisters apartment today, I started to relax,as she cheerful told us of all she was able to still do even though age and injury were working against her. "I hope I have this attitude and tenacity at that age " I thought. As we entered the second Sister's apartment, I instantly forgot were I was and felt I was in the home of an old friend. She told us how her testimony of tithing had help her, her entire life. Reaffirming my own testimony of tithing. " I hope I have her grace & elegance at that age" I thought... As we entered the part of the facility were our third sister resided I was amazed at the similarities between it and Saint Mike's in Lethbridge (the last facility my mom lived in). Decor, layout, everything was similar. The furniture in this Sister's room was identical. I admit I had to take a deep breath as I sat down. The memories of my mom came flooding back but the guilt and pain did not. As I listened to this Sister relentlessly tease my companion (they have been friends for decades) I could not help but laugh and relax. As we left this Sister in her gruff way said to me "Well I'm glad you came, But I'm not to sure about her! (pointing to Sister Creaser) I couldn't help but laugh. "I hope I still have my sense of humor at that age" I thought.

Today I was why out of my comfort zone but I learned two things....I will not self destruct upon entering a nursing home and the bonds of sisterhood in Relief Society are universal.

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