In the hours and days following our Dad's death, I was instantly aware that others were grieving the loss of our Dad too. As my sister phoned his brother, a sister-in-law, friends in the minutes that followed, I felt terrible that they had to feel our heart ache too. There was an instant need to comfort others...
Most were completely unaware of my Dad's rapid decline....The torment and torchure of his dementia, the malnutrition and weight loss it caused.He really suffered. For me, his death meant a release, a peace of sorts, his suffering was over....We found ourselves explaining again and again that we were at peace, this was a blessing, that at least he didn't linger, his suffering wasn't long...word of comfort for others. But are hearts ache and ache....
The hardest two moments for me was seeing my Dad in the casket for the first time as Kelli and I had the arduous decision of having an open casket veiwing or closed...We knew his apperance would shock people and in no way wanted to add to anyones heart ache...he looked slightly better than we had anticipated so we had the casket open....
Seeing my Dad one final time as they closed the casket was the worst moment ever {it was at my Mom's funeral too, so I was sort of perpared} Final goodbyes will always be hard. We honoured my Dad by burying him in a red and black track suit and red Converse high tops...anything else would not have been him.
Funerals are never fun. Planning one is even less fun. The funeral director was an amazing man, though, so down to earth and helpful...He was the first director I've met that didn't creep me out. This made the process so much simplier the second time....
Dad's service was perfect. Full of a few tears, but many more laughs....just the way we and he wanted it. It was amazing to me those who came....life long friends, family, even a handful of my Mom's cousins. Saying good bye is so hard but it helps to not do it alone....
His surviving brother, son-in laws and nephews carried Dad to his final resting place.
A brother says goodbye.
So does his Grandson and name sake.
Good bye Dad.
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