Thursday, April 5, 2012

Utah Tears and Joy.

I've discovered many things about my self in the last few days...

My fear of flying is nearly cured while playing fruit ninja at 37,000 feet.

Not latching a airport washroom stall tightly provided great entertainment for some Japanese travellers.

Sharing your fight with missionaries heading home, lessens the airplane crash phobia considerably.

Seeing my twin sister after six years AWESOME...I didn'T realize how much I have missed her.

Nothing could have prepared for seeing my Dad, Nothing....My understanding of suffering was defined by watching my mom suffer, I never thought you could suffer more than that. I was simply wrong. The image of his sunken eyes and withered body will haunt me. As a grabbed his frail hand my heart wanted to run from the heart ache. The tender mercy, he knew me. The light returned to his eyes for a moment, and he knew me....That will always be a sacred moment to me.

From heart ache to joy....Meeting our niece and nephew for the first time. Zach met me with the biggest bear hug a four year old could muster...."Aunt Robin , I love you!" Mya, gave Uncle Grant a big smile and a high five. They are absolutely delightful.

Today Dad was scared, confused, and was not able to form much of what he wanted to say...Help and I want to go home was all I could make out from his mumbling. Witnessing his struggle to swallow and cough was tramatizing. My heart ached for him and tears flowed freely.

Why must those we love suffer... It is question I am really stuuggling with...

I am grateful that we came down earlier than planned, I will never regret this chance to say goodbye.

One a brighter note, the rug rats are holding down the fort nicely, Holly said "Don't worry mom I stopped Dallyn from drinking Windex and told Madison and Bailey to put down the sledge hammers. And then Dallyn says " I told them bikinis only in the hot tub.

Man I love my kids, they can always make me laugh, even when I'm crying.

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