Sunday, March 8, 2015

I am not BRAVE.

You are SO BRAVE.
Those words actually hurt.
Yes I have a Bipolar husband, but I am not BRAVE for staying married to him.
{ Would you tell someone that they were brave for continuing a relationship if their spouse had a physical illness?? }
Our marriage is an act of love and integrity, not bravery. Illness can be heartbreaking, our marriage is not. Superman is my greatest blessing.
Sure last week was a difficult one....
The paint we were promised to work, peeled instantly, requiring hours and hours and hours of extra stripping, scraping, sanding and starting over....
Superman lost it, unable to handle the frustration, for days we stumbled closer and closer to mania. I hate days like this...words of anger, frustration and heartache flew as we scraped those damn doors and I did the only thing I could, I cried. Bitter tears. His words meant nothing. For me, the sorrow came from watching an illness that has the ability to bring us to our knees, unprovoked and uninvited, rage in my sweetheart.
We never know when days like this come how long they will last...the unknown is the hardest part.
Last week I prayed... a lot. When so few understand the true nature of our challenges, I know He does. So many times when we have had no idea what to do next, those answers have come.... You got this...I will help you both...
So please don't tell me I'm BRAVE, well unless you see me sky diving or bungee jumping.
Just tell me you love me. Yeah an I love you is always good.



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