Sad Money

I know it tends to be taboo to talk about money...well unless you're broke, then complaining about it seems perfectly acceptable....

Everybody knows the joy of payday....(yeah we made it another two weeks ,without starving or having the power shut off).

Or the realization that you forgot about the $300 HST check that has just been deposited in your account (kids we're going to the movies) Oh happy day!

But did you know there is sad money too?

Not long after my mom died eight years ago, I came home to a Canada post pick up notice on our door step...I signed for an unexpected envelope. Inside a check. Not tons of money by today's standards. But more than the Superman and I had seen in a while. Grant had been laid off for the winter and the money saved our bacon literally....

But I felt so sad, Benefiting from a death was so morally wrong for me. I hated that money.

A few weeks later, we pulled into an acquaintances drive way, in a new to us Jeep Cherokee...."What did you win the lottery?" the woman asked....No my Mom passed away.... The woman literally threw her hands up in the air and cheered. "Yay for inheritances!"

I was devastated by her callus reaction....

"So how much do you think you'll get from your Mom/Dad??"

Also a stupid insensitive question, Yes. I have been asked (more than once) and will always refuse to answer.

Was, a certain bank balance supposed to help me work through my grief faster??? Money in no way honoured or represented Mom's legacy or Dad's. It was sad money.

Fast forward to today...

Another envelope for a Dad this time....Again sad money. The fact that I had a bank teller who could use some sensitivity training(I'm sorry for your loss , just saying?) and another (I think) bank manager site US check policy over and over again like I was hard of hearing...Made for a pretty emotional morning {My check policy problem is fixed for now (thanks G)}....grief especially sucks in a crowded bank

  I sure miss him and would gladly give up all the money in the world just to tell him a few more times, how much I love him.

Sad money  kinda sucks, really.